Then, all at once, my rage left me.
My hands fell away from their assault and I lay there as though dead. Now every movement within me was painfully apparent. My rage had buffered me, but now I felt every minute detail of my desecration. His body bearing down on me, his long hair whipping my face, my body rocking with his every movement.
“Leave me,” I whispered.
There was no reply.
My screams were no longer verbal. They were violent, enraged silent screams echoing through the emptiness within me. A blessed darkness filled my mind’s eyes, a barren place to hide within. A hollow void to fill with my pain and terror. My gaze grew distant as I fell away within myself, the only sound my rapidly beating heart. There was a serene silence in this void. I could hide here, away from the world of physical torment.
“Do not defy me!”
Reality came swimming back as my head impacted with the wall the second time. Vlad had me up against the wall beside the bed. His face was enraged.
“Do not ever do that again!”
I was confused for a moment, his nakedness, the pain cutting through my abdomen, the ache between my thighs, and his crazed expression not fitting coherently in my mind. Then I became aware that I was grasping the tattered remains of my dress in my hands and pressing the bundle protectively against my sex.
“You raped me!”
He growled at me, his wolfen teeth sharp and gleaming. “I took what was mine. ”
“I am not yours,” I said firmly.
He slapped me violently. “You will do as I say. You will not ignore me again. I called your name four times and you did not answer. ”
“I did not want to hear your voice! I do not want you touch me! I hate you!” I was trembling with fear and anger. I felt violated: utterly and completely violated. And I was angry. Angry that I was weaker. Angry that I was afraid. Angry that my own body betrayed me. The sick pleasure I had derived from his violation of my body was too awful to bear. I could still feel the pleasing sting between my legs. I felt like a whore.
Vlad’s face was twisted in anger, his eyes burning with red fire, his full lips pulled back from his long fangs. “Hate me if you like, but do not ignore me. ”
His body was too close to mine. I could not bear to feel or see his nakedness. It made me feel filthy. Shrinking back against the wall, I averted my face.
He slapped me again. “Look at me. ”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Why could he not just let me be?
Grabbing handfuls of my hair, he slammed my head against the wall again, pain ripping through my skull. “I shall do this until you open your eyes. ”
I forced myself to look up into his fierce countenance. He is the devil, I thought.
Vlad pressed his dark face against mine, licking my trembling lips. “You disgust me, my dear Bride,” he whispered. “Such a tempting woman, such a terrible lover. ”
I was trembling, the pressure of his body against mine making me squirm. “I do not want you to touch me. I hate you. ”
A low malevolent laugh sent chills through me.
“I never said I wanted you to love me. ”
Yanking me about by my hair, he swung me across the room. Slamming into the wall, I hung there, clutching the cold stones with my hands.
“I made you my Bride. Act as such. ”
I slid off the wall and forced myself to look at him. “No, not a Bride. You made me into your whore!”
Vlad began to laugh with amusement, his fangs glimmering in the firelight. “A whore? Really? Every female aristocrat is a whore on her wedding night! Sold by her family for prestige and wealth. ”
I stood shakily, determined to stand my ground. “You slaughtered my family. ”
“I liberated you from them. They would have sold you to any old bastard with money. ”