And just like that, I fell.
I loved him—at least for that single moment.
That night I learned it was possible to love individuals in singular moments. I learned there could be seconds of time when the world aligned perfectly to create a moment that caused your body to be overwhelmed with love for a complete stranger. I’d discovered flashes of love.
We were close now, so close I was almost sitting on his lap as our foreheads rested against one another. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him, allowing me to fall into his body. I liked the way that felt. I already missed the way that felt.
“I feel bad for whoever it is that gets to love you next,” he whispered, his lips almost brushing against mine. “They will never be worthy of the magnitude of love you’ll give to them.”
I closed my eyes. As he inhaled, I exhaled. Our breaths intermixed as our bodies did the same. I didn’t want to let him go because that meant waking up from the dream I’d been living that night and going back to reality.
I wasn’t certain I wanted to live in a reality where he didn’t exist.
“The sun is up,” he said softly.
“Yeah.”
“It’s time to let go.”
“I know.”
Still, we stayed frozen together for a little bit longer. We allowed the sun to kiss our skin as we both worked hard not to kiss one another. Our lips were close enough, but I knew if I gave in, I wouldn’t walk away.
As we stood, I felt like crying, but I also felt an overwhelming amount of peace, too.
“For the record, Red, you aren’t the barista,” he said as the sun kept rising behind us. “You’re not the quirky best friend, and you’re not some random woman on page forty-five. You’re the main character. Day in and day out, you are the leading lady. And for me, you’re the one who got away.”
I hugged him. I rushed into him and held on tight because after that moment, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold the stranger who didn’t feel so strange to me anymore. I held on and felt my eyes filling with tears as he held on tighter. He held me as if he cared for me more than any other person ever had, as if he’d given me his all, and my goodness, his all was enough.
I’d never known I could need someone I didn’t even know to remind me what it meant to fall in love with myself again.
“Thank you,” I whispered as I lay my head against his chest. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
“Thank you,” he replied. “Can you make me a promise?”
“Yes.”
“Next time you get into a relationship, don’t settle for less than you deserve.”
I smiled. “I promise.”
“I got this weird feeling we’re gonna meet again, mark my words,” he said, seeming hopeful about the possibility of us crossing paths again.
“You believe that much in fate?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I just believe in us.”
“How about we bet on it. If we meet again, I’ll pay you a dollar. If we don’t…well, I won’t pay you a dollar,” I joked.
“All right. Deal. Each year that passes, though, you add a dollar onto the tab.”
“Spoken like a true businessman.”
“If anything, I’m consistent.”
We parted ways that night, and the broken parts of my heart were temporarily healed by his kind words. He emptied my sad soul and filled it back up with love.
I took the subway home, with my hands held against my chest, feeling my heartbeats. The heart that seemed so deeply broken was beginning to beat again, and for the first time in a long time, I felt as if I’d be okay. When I emerged from the subway, I breathed in deeply and exhaled the chilled air as the thoughts of the stranger who’d made me the main character for one night kept crossing my mind.
I knew it seemed ridiculous and the next morning, I’d likely awaken to reality, but I was almost certain the thought floating around in my head was somewhat true. I’d fallen in love with a man that night, and I hadn’t even known his name. But, I knew his touch. His laughter. His heart.
I’d remember the feeling he’d given me as I moved on through life from that day forth.
I’d never forget his flashes of love.
The following week, he stayed on my mind. I moved through my internship with more smiles on my face, and each day I worked at the coffee shop, I felt as if I were floating as I brewed coffee for individuals.
“Excuse me, can I get a few extra sugar cubes for my coffee? And maybe a cinnamon roll, too,” a woman asked me as I stood at the counter of C&C Café. She broke me away from my thoughts of Halloween night, forcing me back to reality.