I don’t know if she did, or if she just needed time to herself. I gave it to her, because I know leaving her brother is weighing on her. When I get to the bedroom, the lights are out. I undress in the dark and climb into the bed. I feel her stiffen when I pull her back into my body and sigh. This can’t keep going on.
“Head still hurting, Red?”
“I’m okay,” she whispers.
“Now, why don’t I believe you?” I murmur, kissing the back of her head and settling her sweet body against me.
“I have a lot to do tomorrow. I’ve got to get everything ready for the adoption event, Cade.”
“I know that, sweetheart. I plan on helping you. We’ll get it.”
“I think it might be best if you sleep in the guest room. That way we’ll have plenty of rest so we can tackle tomorrow,” she says and it’s probably a good thing that she can’t see me roll my damn eyes. I just give her body a squeeze instead. I hope that she will let it drop, but it just takes her a few minutes before bringing it back up. “Did you hear what I said, Cade?”
“Jesus, Red, am I going to have to sort your shit out again tonight?”
“I’m being practical!” she huffs, rolling over on her back.
I reach over and turn on the bedside light, because I refuse to fight with someone that I can’t even see.
“You’re being a bitch, trying to invent issues that aren’t there because you’re scared, Red. In my world we live by one rule. If you feel it, own it.”
“I am not scared, you asshole. I’m the only one of us that’s making sense! If you feel it, own it? What kind of kindergarten dribble is that? What the fuck does it even mean?” she huffs, working herself up.
“It means if you’re going to allow yourself to be afraid at least admit to it, sweetheart.”
“I’m not afraid, damn you. I just don’t think it’s smart for me to head to Kentucky so soon with a man I barely know!”
“That’s crap and you know it. We know each other in all the ways that matter and every fucking day it gets better.”
“I’ll tell you what’s crap is that you are just thinking with your dick and expect me to agree.”
“What?” I ask, because I want her to get it all out before I put an end to this bullshit—and I’m definitely putting an end to it tonight.
“You and I are good in bed.”
“Gee, you think, Red?”
“Really good,” she allows, making me snort because that don’t even come close to describing what we have. “My point is, that it’s still just sex. We haven’t had time to get to know one another, time to figure out if we have what it takes to go long term.”
“I disagree, but even if I didn’t, Red, tell me something.”
“What?”
“Is there some fucking law in your world that says we can’t be together while we’re sorting through everything else?”
“I… well…”
“That’s what I thought,” I respond smugly, though holding in my laughter.
“Being around you confuses me. I confuse what is smart with what I want,” she finally answers, exasperated.
“What if what you want is the smart thing, Red.”
“What if it’s not?”
“Red, do I look like some young, stupid, horny boy to you?”
“Cade—”
“I’m pushing forty and I’ve lived life hard and wild for a lot of those fucking years, Red.”
“Uh, just saying, I’d rather not hear about that,” she mumbles, making me grin.
“Why not? It’s the truth. You and I are adults. We take what we want in life and we make no apologies for it. That’s one thing that attracted me to your ass in the first place,”
“Such a romantic, Stud. Don’t forget about my fat ass either.”
“Thick, not fat, but yes, that is pretty fucking phenomenal, too,” I laugh. She elbows me in response, she doesn’t try to make it hurt, though. In fact, she’s fighting her own laughter. “The point is, Red, I’ve lived all this time and I didn’t find one woman that I wanted to claim. Not one. Some I spent a night with—”
“Ahhhhh,” she cries, sticking her fingers in her ears. “I told you I didn’t want to hear this shit!”
I pull her hands down and then move so my body has her pinned down on the bed. “In all that time, Red, there was no one that I wanted to put my mark on, to keep in my bed. Some of them I knew for a night and some of them a hell of a lot longer.”
“Cade, seriously, I don’t want to hear—”
“I knew after one minute of being near you that I would never want another woman in my life. You’re it for me. I’m not giving you up and I felt that way from word one and I feel that way now. I know without question that I’ll feel that way a year from now, five years from now and if I’m that fucking lucky, fifty years from now. I’m not letting you walk away because I can’t.”