“It’s not.” The snivels were back, and he rubbed his nose with his arm again. “He’s gonna hate me. I didn’t listen. I wasn’t supposed to touch nothin’,” he cried. “He’s not gonna love me no more.”
His mama tipped up his chin, and then his heart was hurt all over again when he saw the way she looked.
Her eyes so red and swollen and the smile on her face more sad than it was happy. “Hey, don’t ever think that. Remember what I’ve always told you…our home is built on love, love, love. It’s the foundation of who we are. And that isn’t ever gonna change.”
Rhys blinked and nodded.
His mama tipped up his chin farther. “Now, I need you to be my strong boy when we go in there, okay?”
He nodded again, and he pushed off the chair, and he held his mama’s hand real tight as they moved through two big doors and down a long hall and to a door where the room was kinda dark inside.
His mama held it open for him.
Rhys choked over the big fat ball of sorrow that closed off his throat.
His daddy looked different where he laid in the hospital bed. Smaller than Rhys remembered. Hooked up to a bunch of beeping machines.
All covered up where his left arm was gone.
Tears burst this time, and Rhys rushed for him and buried his face in his chest.
His daddy wrapped his only arm around him.
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” He sniffled and tried to bury the cries into his daddy’s chest, but he was wailing it, anyway. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Rhys had never felt so bad in his whole life. So sick or scared or hurt or sad, and he thought for a second that maybe he was gonna die.
“Not your fault,” his daddy rumbled. “I knew better than to let you go climbing up on that tractor. Wasn’t payin’ close enough attention.”
Rhys knew he was lying. Knew it was all his fault.
“I’ll take care of you, Daddy. I’ll take care of you and Mama. I promise.”
His daddy ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re a good boy, Rhys. A good, good boy.”
Twenty
Rhys
Disoriented, I blinked into the murky darkness of my room. Drawn from the depths of sleep that had tormented and slayed. Where the demons gathered and hunted and plotted to go in for the kill.
It was like I’d been called out of it. Offered a sanctuary. Reprieve. Like this girl was lurin’ me into a different sort of dream.
Sitting up on the edge of the bed, I scrubbed a palm over my face to break me out of the trance.
Only I realized I wasn’t empty-handed the way I’d been when I’d fallen asleep. There was something pressed to my palm that I was clutchin’ like a lifeline. Like I’d found a buoy in the night.
Guessed it was almost in fear that I uncurled my fingers, my heart locked up in my throat where it beat a vicious chord.
Racing for a melody that had no place in my ear.
But it was there, strummin’ louder when I peered through the wispy darkness at what I held.
My chest seized by the gesture.
It made me want to weep all over again, which was straight bullshit, but this girl had a way of pulling the darkness to the surface. Of making me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling.
I brushed my fingers over the crude shape made from a plain piece of paper.
A horse.
A stallion.
Warmth spread beneath the surface of my skin. Like the blooming of somethin’ that couldn’t be.
Because I knew better. I fuckin’ knew better…
I flipped the horse over with my fingers, squinting more in the bare light when I saw the lettering on the back.
I’m already yours.
My mind spiraled back to the last thing I’d said to her. When I told her I couldn’t steal the good parts of her. Taint the pieces that should be cherished.
Last thing I wanted was to be a regret.
Didn’t want to hurt her.
How the fuck could I offer her something when I knew I didn’t have all myself to give? When I knew I was forever gonna be stuck? Fact there’d always be a part of me that belonged to the past?
In the middle of all that, energy flashed, and I struggled to maintain my footing around it.
Stand ground when I could feel it crumbling out from under.
Could feel myself dancing into treachery. Treading into perilous waters. The power of whatever the fuck she conjured hoverin’ somewhere in the fringes of who I was.
I didn’t know how to ignore it.
This thing.
The lure that bound and trapped and most assuredly was gonna turn up a blade in our backs in the end. One that had me on my feet and moving to my balcony doors like that was what I’d been called to do. My spirit was already there, taken to the place where she had gone. She was out on the beach where the full moon shone bright, the girl dancing in the waves.