“He could ruin a piece of my heart, Em, but I’ve always known he was worth that risk.” Emotion crested, and the words began to flood, “Every day of our lives is a risk, but I want to live each of them without being disabled by fear. In the best way that I can. I did it for so long, and I can’t any longer. And that doesn’t mean I’m not scared…it just means it’s worth it.”
All of it.
Rhys.
Helping those women.
Living my life to its full extent.
Heart first.
“And I know it might cause me more pain in my life, that I’m cutting myself wide open and making myself vulnerable,” I continued, “but without it, I’d miss out on so much joy.”
Had I hidden away from Rhys? From that connection? I would have missed out on this.
The corner of her mouth trembled. “And that’s the only thing we want—for you to experience every joy.”
I tossed her a quirk of my brow. “Even Royce?”
She giggled a little, then she went somber. “I know he drives you crazy. Heck, he’s been frettin’ so much over you since your fall, he’s kinda drivin’ me batty for you, too. But your brother…he’s terrified of the joy slippin’ away, and he thinks he has to constantly be fighting against the possibility of that.”
“He’s not going to be happy,” I muttered.
She ran her thumb over the back of Amelia’s hand, the two of us holding onto the tiny infant who was a representation of all that joy. “Maybe not at first, but that’s all he wants for you, Maggie. Give him a little bit of time.”
I glanced back at the closed door, captured by the sound of the water running on the other side. There was no stopping the vision of Rhys standing in front of his vanity. His rugged face in the mirror. His hulking body in those underwear.
Gulping, I forced myself to look back at Emily. “I don’t want him to know. For now. At least until I give this thing a fighting chance with Rhys.”
“I’d never tell him. That’s gonna be a conversation the two of you are goin’ to need to have. When you’re ready.”
Love poured out. “Thank you.”
Her head tipped to the side. “For what? Gettin’ to spend time like this with the sister I’d never had? Believe me, this is my joy, too, Maggie.”
“I love you. Thank you for being here for me. For listening and understanding and not casting judgments.”
She leaned over Amelia and cupped my cheek. “My only job is to listen. To be here for you, in whatever capacity you need. You can trust that. You don’t have to keep things a secret from me, but I also won’t force things out of you if you’re not ready to share them.”
I pressed her hand closer. “I do trust you.”
On a slight nod, she leaned farther forward to press a kiss to my forehead. Then she leaned back with a smirk. “And you better make sure that man is takin’ good care of you or else I’m gonna have somethin’ to say about it.”
How she could pack so much innuendo into a few words, I didn’t know.
I grinned through my flush. “I think it’s safe to say Rhys knows what he’s doing.”
She softened, and she touched my chin. “And I hope he takes care of your kind heart, too.”
I didn’t answer.
It wasn’t needed.
She just gathered up her daughter and pushed to standing. As she bounced her, she looked down at me. “I love you.”
I smiled up at her. “I love you. So much. I’ll be into your room in a few.”
She started out the door. “Sounds good. I mean…unless you get sidetracked.” The last wafted through the room on her tinkling laughter.
I bit my lip to keep myself from shouting back, I like the way you think.
It was just after four in the afternoon when I was sitting in the parking lot of the small grocery store clutching my phone in my hand and staring at the text that had come through right as I’d turned off the ignition.
I sat frozen, horrified and fighting a rush of fear. That feeling I’d been trying to ignore coming at me full force.
The warning that I’d gotten myself so much deeper than I’d ever imagined I could.
Amelia was almost out of diapers, so I’d offered to run to the store since Royce had been downstairs with the band and Emily was feeding her up in their room. It was an errand that I hadn’t given a second thought to at the time.
Except now, distress coated my spirit, and a sheen of sweat covered my flesh, even though cold air was blowing from the vents.
I stared at my phone with a shroud of sorrow blanketing my spirit.
This hurt that resonated inside me was expected, wasn’t it? But it didn’t matter how many times I’d attempted to convince myself that I’d accepted it. That it was okay. My mother’s disregard, her cruelty, continued to demolish me.