“Damn right.” There was no point in denying the obvious. Even if Charlotte made the prospect of marriage and children more appealing, his life plans had changed since his return home, and not by freedom of choice.
“Don’t do it if you can’t live with it.” Chase braced his arms on the desk. “I told you that night, no one would blame you if you backed out.”
“I’d blame me. Did I ever tell you how much I respect you for the decisions you made?”
“You don’t have to tell me. I know how many people you’re reaching with your news and your talent. And every time I read a piece you wrote, every time you send clippings home, you show me what kind of man you are. And how much you appreciate everything you have in your life.”
Roman glanced at Chase and shook his head. “I’m not talking about how much I appreciate life. We both know I do. I’m talking about how much I respect you.” He stood and shoved his hands into his back pockets. “It wasn’t until I lost that coin toss that I fully understood the sacrifice you made. You did it young and I respect you for it.”
“Sacrifice is too strong a word,” Chase said as he inclined his head.
Roman had embarrassed his brother and Roman knew it was as much of an acknowledgment of thanks as he’d get.
“Now tell me what Charlotte Bronson has to do with things,” Chase said.
Roman poured himself another drink. Because Chase had made tough choices in his lifetime, no one would understand better what Roman was going through now than his big brother. “I love my life. The travel, the stories, informing people about important things in the world.”
Chase shot him a wry smile. “Even when we were kids, I always related to you best. I saw myself in you.” He inhaled deeply. “When Dad died, I knew my dreams had gone with him. But if I couldn’t be the one to travel, I was damn well going to make sure you had the opportunities I didn’t.”
A swell of emotion rose in Roman’s throat. “I owe you for that.”
Chase waved away the words. “I didn’t do it so one day you could owe me. Payback is the last thing I want. If I still wanted to travel, I could get on a damn plane now. My life is fine. So if you can’t do this thing and be satisfied,” he said, speaking of the coin toss, “then don’t do it.”
“Hey, I have every intention of doing my duty, but damned if I can see myself tied to just any woman in this town. Not when …”
“Not when there’s only one you want.”
Roman reached for the bottle again, then shoved the liquor away instead. “Exactly,” he said, facing Chase’s words head-on.
He pushed himself out of the chair and walked over to the window. He gazed out at the scenery that had always given his father such great pleasure—he knew this because all three kids had taken turns sitting on their father’s lap as he typed in an article, took ads on the phone, or just hung out with his children, all with this view behind him. Computers replaced the old Smith Corona typewriters now, and the trees were larger, the roots buried deeper, but otherwise things hadn’t changed. Young as he’d been when his father was still alive, Roman’s memories were vague. But they existed on the fringe of memory and gave him comfort, even now.
“It’s obvious she’s interested in you too, so what’s the problem?”
Roman inhaled. “I don’t want to hurt her and everything about this coin toss and my plan reeks of her dad, Russell Bronson.”
“Damn.” Chase pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I’ll take that as an agreement.”
“So who’s in the running instead?” Chase asked.
Roman watched as a breeze blew through the branches on the not-yet-budding trees. Only the yellow forsythia and the newly green grass added color to the setting below. As he stared down, a distant memory came into focus, of a family picnic he’d had here, one planned by his mother in an attempt to get his workaholic father out for fresh air and time with the kids. He could almost smell the chicken sandwiches his mom had made and hear his father’s voice as he coached Rick on how to hold a bat while Raina pitched the ball.
When it came to his own child, Roman couldn’t imagine any woman other than Charlotte playing the role of wife and mother—but neither could he picture himself settling down into the family role at the expense of the career he’d built and loved. But a child was in his future. And he didn’t want to make that child with any woman other than Charlotte.
“No one else is in the running.”