“Get that asshole off our porch,” Daryl calls.
“We told you that we don’t want to sell. This was our dad’s home. He made it a home for all of us, and there is no way we’re ever giving it up,” Gordon says.
Sean is still staring at me, breathing slowly, his nostrils twitching. “But Maggie wants to,” he whispers.
“Maggie knows a good offer when she hears one,” Tristan says.
“You never told me what the offer was.” That’s as true for Tristan as it is for the boys. There are more secrets here than the Pentagon.
“You’ll never get a better offer. The only reason I’m prepared to give you above market value is that I’m buying your neighbors’ properties too.”
“What our neighbors do is their business, and it doesn’t make a damned bit of difference to us,” Sean says calmly. “Now, we’ve told you very clearly, more times than I can count, that we aren’t interested. Now I’m going to politely ask you to leave because I’ve already exercised my fist for the day, and I don’t want to do it again.” Sean flexes his right hand, and for the first time, I see the bruises that Justin’s face has made.
Tristan puts his hands up and takes a step back. “Listen, it was Maggie who told me to come, okay? I’m just here trying to do my job, and if the lovely lady wants to sell up, maybe it’s you who’s not being fair by not letting her have her voice heard.”
“I can assure you that Maggie’s voice is heard loud and clear in this house.” Sean steps around me and puts himself between Tristan and me. “Now, I’m sure you have other people to visit, and we have other things to deal with.”
Tristan shakes his head, his cheeks flushed with what I can only imagine is frustration and embarrassment. “You’re going to regret this,” he says. “This house is going to end up surrounded by a parking lot.”
Sean steps forward for the second time today, his fist balling, but this time he takes John’s words to heart. Tristan is off the porch and walking away shaking his head again, and when Sean turns to look at me, his jaw ticks. Slamming the door loudly, he shakes his head.
“What the fuck, Maggie? You’ve been talking to that asshole? Why? You want to sell this place out from under our feet?”
I clasp my hands in front of me, twisting my fingers. “He came to the door and told me about the offer. I was expecting you to tell me what was going on. This house belongs to me too.”
“So you do want to sell. All of this… all of what’s happened between us, means nothing. You just see this place as a meal ticket?”
“That isn’t what I’m saying. You have to understand that I have a baby to think about.”
“We know, Maggie,” John says softly.
“Yes, I know you know. I heard you discussing me like I’m a poor creature who can’t fend for herself. I heard you pitying me.”
“That isn’t what was said,” John says, reaching out to rest his hand on mine, but I snatch it away.
“I heard you talking about my unborn child like I would never be enough. You think you can just swoop in and make everything better. You punched my baby’s father in the face.” I point at Sean, the anger inside me bubbling so fast that even though I know I’m not being fair, it spills out of me anyway. “You think it’s wrong for me to weigh all my options. How can I trust you when you tell me you all want to be with me? It’s a fairytale, a pipedream. It’s a warped fantasy, not something that happens in real life.” Danna pops into my mind, but I push her out again. I have to believe what I’m saying, otherwise everything is lost. “You’re just telling me what you think I want to hear, so you don’t have to sell this house. You’re using me, manipulating me.” I’m back in the place that I know best—lashing out first, so my heart doesn’t get broken. Smashing any trust before it falters and breaks my heart. Would I have fucked Justin if he’d been truly available? Would I have wanted to share his bed if he had the capacity to love me? The answer is definitely no. And maybe that’s what I’ve been doing here all along. I’m a mess. A hugely confused mess that doesn’t know what’s good for me and what’s not.
I’m self-destructive, but knowing it doesn’t change it.
“I don’t understand this,” Sean says. “You said you wanted what we want. You said…”
“You don’t know what you want,” I hiss. “You think you want me, but when this baby comes along, you’re going to realize that you’ve made a mistake. You’re going to get your new jobs, and then you’ll want to leave this house and me behind if that’s even what you want. This whole thing has just been about keeping me sweet.”