For the next thirty minutes, we get comfortable and wait for the pizza. Claire decides on some superhero movie, and I end up watching her more than the movie. I tell myself it’s because I know I won’t be seeing her again for a while, but I know that’s not completely it. There is something about her that draws me in and makes it hard for me to look away.
When the pizza arrives, I go to the door, pay, and return to the bed.
“Ladies first.” I smile and place the box down in front of her.
Claire grins and opens the box, grabbing the first slice. We eat in silence, watching the movie and enjoying one another’s company. Over the course of the last couple days, I’ve come to know more about Claire than I ever did before, and it makes me want to get to know her more. It makes me want to keep her close.
But that would be selfish. She needs to return to her normal life. I need to make sure that I keep us hidden, and her safe. I don’t need to be worrying about her.
I’m making the right choice, and I know that as I look over at Claire and she smiles at me.
17
Claire
This is my last night with Lucca, my last chance to make him see that I’m not a little girl anymore. I’ve missed Steven and Tracy dearly, and I’m happy to be able to see them, but I also can’t help feeling sad about Lucca leaving. I feel like I just got him back, and now he is disappearing. I’m losing him all over again.
Part of me knows I should be glad. What he said is true, I need a family and stable home. Unfortunately, there is this other part of me telling me I won’t be happy without Lucca. There is a voice in the back of my mind urging me to stay with him. What kind of life would that be, though? I’m not naive to think that it would be great. I mean, look at us now.
He wants me to go to school and be a kid, but I don’t feel like a kid anymore. I don’t fit in with those teenagers, and I never will. I’m basically an adult. Now I just need to make Lucca see me as one too. All day I’ve been contemplating what to do, how to make him see me as more than the little girl he saved.
We ordered pizza and watched a movie together, but it wasn’t quite how I wanted it to be. He stayed on his bed, and I on mine. Every once in a while, I would catch him watching me, staring at me with a faraway look in his eyes. It’s the last push I need to make a move.
He’s in the shower when I finalize my plan. I’m terrified of him rejecting me, but I will never know if I don’t try.
With shaking hands, I take off my clothes until I’m completely naked. I’m so nervous that I almost get dressed again. Instead, I force my feet to move.
Turning off the light, I climb into bed and tuck the blanket over me. The sheets are cool but soft against my skin, sending goosebumps across my arms.
Excitement and fear swirl around my stomach as I wait for Lucca to finish in the bathroom. A million thoughts enter my mind. What if he rejects me? No, I can’t think about that. He just needs to see that I’m grown up now. All he needs is a little push, and that’s exactly what I’m giving him.
Just a little push.
My entire body jerks when the bathroom door opens. Light filters into the room for a few seconds before Lucca turns it off, descending the room into darkness once more.
I can’t hear his footsteps, but I swear I feel his body moving. The air between us shifts, and my breathing speeds up. I’m hyper-aware of every little movement I make. Every tiny motion shifts the blanket so slightly over my naked skin.
My throat suddenly feels so dry it’s difficult to swallow, and when I feel the bed dip, my heart ceases to beat for a moment before picking back up at hyper-speed.
Lucca settles into the spot next to me, and for a long moment, I just lie there, questioning myself and my plan.
Maybe this is a mistake?
A few minutes pass, and I shake all those fears and insecurities away. This is my chance. It’s now or never.
Gathering all my courage, I pull the blanket from my body. Cool air washes over my heated skin as I move around the bed. Lucca says something, but I can’t make out his words.
In the dark, I reach out to him until my hand lands on his chest. I climb on top of him, straddling his torso while keeping both of my hands planted on his chest.