I can’t contain myself and run and jump on the bed. I can’t imagine how I look to him right now, probably like a small child, and in some ways, I feel like one. I feel fragile and like I’m wearing a sweater with lots of room to grow, but the sweater is suffocating me because I don’t know how to wear it.
Rolling onto my side, I grab the blankets and pull them up and over my body. Lucca seems frozen for an instant until the light flicks off. All over again, the room is dark, and when I close my eyes, I see Lucca with the gun in his hand.
Pulling my back to his front, he spoons me. The warmth of his body and his scent flush away the nightmare before it can take root and the loneliness in my heart disappears. As we lie there in the dark with sleep close to the surface, I can’t help but play Lucca’s words back in my mind. “If I hurt you, I would’ve… It would’ve killed me.
It reminds me that while everyone else in my life, including my father, had let me down, Lucca, even when breaking my heart, was still there.
He still cares for me, and suddenly, I’m reminded I’m not alone. I have Lucca, really have him, and I have to find a way to keep him by my side. At all costs.
28
Lucca
I’m not sure how I stayed away from her for so long. Maybe it’s because I’ve kept my distance that I never got this obsessed. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’ve been obsessed with Claire’s safety before now. But since she has been staying with me, that obsession has reached a new height.
I used to be okay with watching her through surveillance videos, pictures, and Carter’s reports. Now, none of those would quench my thirst for control. The only way to satisfy my need is to watch Claire constantly. I need to know what she is doing every second of the day. I need to see her with my own eyes, feel her skin, fill my nostrils with her flowery scent.
Sitting in the car across from the entrance to the college, I get restless, waiting for Claire to walk out. Checking my watch constantly, I feel like I’m on a stakeout, but instead of killing the subject, I just want to protect it. Maybe I’ll kill everyone around her just to be sure she is safe. No one can harm her if everyone is dead.
Solid plan.
That plan sounds even better when Claire walks out, and I spot the guy walking next to her. A guy walking way too close, if you ask me. He is the typical college boy: jeans, sneakers, and the university hoodie. With a backpack slung over his shoulder, he walks like he owns the campus.
My blood boils as I watch the way he leans into her. She giggles and touches his arm like he just said something funny. That’s when I’ve had enough.
I kill the engine and climb out of the car. Her classes are not over yet, and I didn’t plan on letting her know I’m here, but I can’t stand back and watch this any longer.
Like a man on a mission, I stomp over to where they are. The moment Claire spots me, her eyes go wide with a mixture of shock and fear. Either she feels like she just got caught doing something wrong, or I simply look scary enough for her to worry.
“Hey, Gregg, why don’t we grab lunch another day,” I hear her say, and my anger reaches a new height. Lunch? Fucking lunch with Gregg? Fuck, Gregg!
“Yeah, sure. Maybe tomorrow?” Gregg asks.
“No,” I growl. “She won’t have lunch with you tomorrow… or ever.”
“Lucca,” Claire warns, annoyance bleeding through her voice. She grabs my arm, and her touch sends a bolt of lightning through my body.
“Eh, okaaay,” Gregg says, looking between us in confusion. “I guess I’ll see you in class.”
Not if I can help it.
Gregg white knuckles the flimsy strap of his backpack and scurries away from us as fast as he can. I turn my attention back to Claire, who is looking at me with her head tilted, and her hand propped up on her hips like she is about to give me a lecture.
“Seriously? Was that necessary?”
“Very. I told you, no funny business with guys.”
Mischief twinkles in her eyes, and I already know she is going to do the opposite of what I’m asking just to spite me.
“We’ll see—” she starts, but I cut her off by grabbing her upper arm and dragging her across the sidewalk. Pulling her behind the building, I don’t stop until we are hidden by some bushes and the shadow of the extensive building. Once alone, I shove her against the wall, causing her to gasp. I lean into her face, letting a mask of menace fall over my face.