Sweat clings to my skin, and I roll off of her and pull her into my side. Claire nuzzles her head into my chest, and I feel complete. This is right where I belong, right where she belongs, and I was stupid for ever thinking otherwise.
“You’re mine, butterfly,” I whisper into her hair as her soft snores fill the room.
35
Claire
Every nerve ending in my body tingles, and I roll across the bed, realizing it’s empty. In a panic, I sit up, wondering if last night was a dream. One simple stretch of my limbs, and I know it wasn’t. The muscles in my legs ache, but in a delicious way. As I lean back against the pillows, I can’t believe how different last night was to our first time together. Lucca was still rough and even more possessive, but there was a tenderness to his touch that I didn’t understand, and that was definitely not there before.
Every move he made, every swirl of his hips, it was all focused on me. A smile splits my face, and I cover it with my hand. It’s wrong to be smiling, wrong to feel any type of joy about having him here. My excitement fades away when I think about the other woman he is in love with. Why find me? Just for sex, or so he can drag me back there, try to control me again?
Suddenly, I’m mad, because if he had come here to talk to me, to see me, to want more from me, or to apologize, maybe I would’ve thought about it.
Now, I’m going to tell him to get the fuck out.
The door to the bedroom opens, and I jump a foot off the bed when Lucca appears in the doorway with a tray of steamy food in his hands.
“I had to run to the grocery store. You don’t have shit to eat here.”
The smell of eggs, and bacon along with fresh coffee, waft into the room, and my stomach grumbles in protest of what I plan to say.
“Why did you come here?”
He crosses the room and sets the tray at the foot of the bed. “What do you mean why did I come here? You’re mine, Claire. I came here to bring you back with me. I want you in my life. I wanted you in my life before I was just too fucking stupid to put it into words.” I pull the thin sheet tighter around me, wishing it could protect my heart from the words Lucca just said.
I’m angry and sad and a little heartbroken. He wants me, but only because he lost me.
“You had your chance to want me. In fact, you had numerous chances. I basically offered myself to you, and you turned me down. Now it’s time for you to go.”
“There is a life back there for you,” he tells me, completely ignoring my words.
“I don’t want to go back there, and I don’t want you to be here.”
Lucca sighs and walks over to me, stopping right in front of me. His blue eyes are soft, and he looks happy. He cups my cheek, running his thumb over the swell. It takes every ounce of resistance I have not to lean into his touch.
“Don’t you want to go back to college? Visit your family and friends?” He offers me the world, everything that I could’ve wanted before, but it’s too late. “I can give you that. I don’t want you to stay here alone. It’s not safe, and you have nothing. The thought of you being hurt by someone, and I’m not here to protect you.” A visible shiver works its way down his spine.
“I’ve been doing it for six months on my own. I think I’ll be okay. Plus, that place was never my home. It was only ever supposed to be temporary.”
Lucca’s hand drops from my face. He seems indifferent to what I’ve said, and guilt slices through his features. “That’s my fault, and I never apologize for anything, mainly because there isn’t anything to apologize for, but I am sorry for all I put you through. It’s why I didn’t give in to my want of you earlier. It’s why I tried my damnedest to push you away, again and again.”
It dawns on me then that he didn’t consider himself good enough for me, but that should’ve been my choice, not his.
He looks down at his hands. “I got my old job back. We wouldn’t be returning to the safe house in Brookfield. We’d be going home. To the place you grew up. You could go to the local college there, and Hope, your friend, still lives there.”
“That all sounds perfect, Lucca, but I’m not sure that place would ever feel like home again to me. Everything has changed so much, and I’m not the same person I was when I left that town. I want to close that chapter on my life and move forward.”