There was a pang of longing in my heart. It was nice to hear, but was he worried about losing me? I got that he figured the less I knew about E, the better, which would decrease the risk—however unlikely—that I’d fall for the other man. Clay wasn’t just protecting himself, either. He was trying to protect me from being hurt when the time came for E to exit the relationship.
Except . . .
That tiny voice whispered again it was already too late.
I loved what we had—and I didn’t want it to be over.
Clay and I had made a deal. No feelings, no attachments. Was I supposed to tell him that was happening now, when my feelings weren’t only for him?
For the last week, I’d tried to convince myself I wasn’t interested in E beyond sexual attraction. The pull toward this mystery man was just my insatiable desire to know more about him, but I was kidding myself.
When I thought about my future with Clay, I couldn’t picture us without E there too.
Oh, I was in trouble.
In my fear, I stayed silent, and I fought to rationalize it away. Clay shared me physically with E, but not emotionally. So, I spitefully kept my emotions from him.
I slathered on a brave face and a sexy smile. “Well, you’ve got me all to yourself tonight, don’t you?”
His mood lifted. “Yes.”
As usual, he was sprawled out on his hotel bed, and when he drew in a heavy breath, the shift visibly went through him. There was the confident dominant I was familiar with.
“That’s why I was late calling,” he continued. “I had to revise my plan for the evening.”
“Yeah?” I perked up. While I was disappointed E wouldn’t be joining us, I wasn’t unhappy to have some one-on-one time with my partner.
And it was a wildly different experience than anything we’d done before.
While I wasn’t physically tied up during the session, there was still plenty of restraint placed on me. There were the rules Clay doled out in his exacting voice, plus the way I had to control myself. It was so much easier when there was rope or cuffs. Making myself stay still was hard. But making myself stop when I was close to orgasming?
That was a real challenge.
He decreed tonight I was to vocalize everything. He wanted me to be loud and communicative. Clay demanded I show him all my visual cues when I was right on the cusp of coming.
So I did, over and over again.
He studied me like a student eager to get a perfect test score, watching me as my fingers played with my clit, mentally cataloguing every moan and sigh I made.
It was erotic performing for him, yet surprisingly intimate too.
I’d gotten myself off at least twice, but he drew my final one out. My body pleaded for release, and when he finally allowed it, bliss rushed through me in a hot wave. I collapsed back on his couch, swallowing gulps of air, and stared up at the nothingness of his vaulted ceiling.
A terrible realization dawned inside me.
My orgasms had been satisfying . . . so why didn’t I feel satisfied?
Since E and I weren’t allowed to talk to each other, I liked to think that we were able to communicate other ways. Body language, or breaths too soft for Clay to hear, or an exchange of looks.
Hi, I said, when E stepped through the front doorway. I missed you.
I missed you too, I imagined his eyes saying back to me.
Clay was oblivious to the conversation going on between us, too eager to get started. “Let’s head downstairs.”
We’d done it enough times, preparing for the scene came naturally to all of us. I undressed while E set up his laptop. He connected with Clay, then took my phone from me and hung it up, setting it on the workbench beside his computer. He adjusted the angle of the camera until Clay said it was good, before both men set their sights on me and . . .
Then the scene truly began.
It’d been a long, especially hard day at the clinic this afternoon, and I was emotionally drained, but my exhaustion and everything else melted away when E approached. I gave a startled, then relieved sigh as he fisted my hair, jerked my head back, and sank his teeth into the side of my neck.
It took no time to fall under the spell of their dominance.
Not long after I was bound to Clay’s prototype chair, did I understand why Clay had been studying my cues in our previous session. E teased me mercilessly with the cordless wand vibrator, taking me right to the brink, only for Clay’s sharp order to ring out and bring me to a screeching halt.
While the impending orgasm slipped away, E undid his jeans and pushed his hardened cock into my mouth. I wasn’t able to move my head much because tonight there was a collar locked around my throat, which was hooked into the chairback, but that didn’t slow E down one bit. He firmly held the sides of my head as he fucked my mouth, and his ruthless way was exactly how I imagined Clay would do it.