The Crush

“If you didn’t know me, you’d never know I’d been through something horrible. Because I’m really good at hiding behind my smile. So the next time you see someone you assume has it better than you do, remember that you can’t know what someone is going through by looking at them. They might have been through something agonizing, yet still found a way to smile. And I hope whatever you’re going through, you know you’re not alone—and that you find a way to smile, too.” She nodded once. “Thank you.”

Farrah stepped down to a round of applause.

Wow. I was so proud of her for putting aside her fears.

I should’ve left sooner though. Should’ve turned right around and gotten the hell out of there. Instead, I froze. I’d been so into what she was saying, I hadn’t realized I’d walked close enough to the stage that I was now in front of her. When she spotted me, I knew I was fucked.

How the hell am I supposed to explain this?

Chapter 7

* * *

Farrah

At first, I thought I might have been hallucinating. What the hell is Jace doing here? I had to blink several times to confirm I wasn’t seeing things. Oh my God. He saw my entire speech? He heard every last, raw word? How could this have happened on the one night I’d decided to go for it?

Jace shifted on his feet. “Farrah...that was—”

“What are you doing here?”

He fumbled in search of words and finally said, “I don’t have a good answer for that.”

I turned to look over at Kellianne, who was beaming. She gave me a thumbs-up, clearly enjoying this a little too much.

“How could you possibly have known I was going to be speaking tonight?”

“That’s the fucked-up thing. I had no clue. Getting to see you up there was pure luck.”

“Why are you here?”

Jace bit his bottom lip. “Honestly? I was driving that girl back to her house, and I passed by here on my way home. Figured I’d check things out…see why you like it so much.”

That seemed weird to me. “I’m still confused. You knew I was here. So…you were gonna say hello?”

“Possibly. But when I came in, you’d just gotten on stage. I was going to turn around and leave after you finished, but then you spotted me.”

“Why would you have left?”

“Because I wasn’t sure you’d be comfortable knowing I’d heard everything.”

“Okay...” I shook my head. “Are you gonna stay?”

His eyes seared into mine. “Do you want me to?”

I swallowed. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he said, looking around.

“I need a drink. What can I get you?”

He held his palm out. “Nothing for me. I’m driving.”

My legs felt wobbly as I made my way to the bar—and I hadn’t had anything to drink yet.

Jace was chatting with Kellianne when I returned to the table with a mojito for me and an ice water for him. I was still confused, but also thrilled that Jace had shown up here tonight. He’d been on my mind all day, and this meant that on some level, he was thinking about me, too. I couldn’t be sure if I was reading into this too much, but how could I not? After all, I’d been trying to manifest this kind of attention from Jace for weeks now. Was it finally working?

“So…” Kellianne said. “Jace was telling me how he happened to be driving by and decided to check things out.” She gave me a look that made me want to tell her to cut the shit.

I knew what she was thinking. But I also knew this could’ve had more to do with Jace acting as a spy on Nathan’s behalf than anything else.

Jace looked anxiously around the room, like he was expecting the morality police to show up any minute and cart him away.

I’d been so emotional earlier today as I sat alone in that café, angry at my inability to control my feelings, my inability to move on from the impossible situation of wanting someone I couldn’t have. My emotions had made me a little crazy, I guess. (Well, crazier than usual.) Over dinner with Kellianne, I’d decided I was going to get up on stage tonight come hell or high water, and I’d stuck to that promise. But because I’d kept waffling, I’d been the last person to speak. Jace had somehow made it just in time.

Eventually, Kellianne stood up from her chair. “I’m gonna get going. You coming with me or—”

“I’m taking her home,” Jace said.

“I figured. Just didn’t want to be presumptuous.” She wriggled her brows at me.

I wished she wasn’t so damn obvious.

After Kellianne left, Jace turned to me. “Ready to get out of here?”

“Yeah.”

I sipped the last of my drink until the straw made a slurping sound. Then Jace led the way out the door.

The weather had cooled down a lot, and a swift breeze blew my hair around. Jace disarmed the truck and opened the passenger door for me. I settled into my seat and pulled the seatbelt over myself.