The Crush

He started the truck and backed out of the space. He seemed to be driving slower than normal when he turned to me.

“I don’t want Nathan to know I was with you tonight, okay? I’m gonna drop you off at the corner of our street so he doesn’t see my truck.”

“Where are you gonna go?”

“I’ll just drive around for a while.”

“Why do you not want Nathan to see us together?”

Jace sighed. “He told me he didn’t like seeing us together that day in the pool. Deep down, he doesn’t trust me with you. While I managed to calm his fears, I don’t think he’ll give me another pass if he finds us hanging out alone again.”

Wow. “So, wait. He confronted you?”

“Not specifically about that. It came out in the midst of another conversation.”

“What did you say to him?”

“That he doesn’t have anything to worry about.”

That stung. “Is that the truth? Does he really not have anything to worry about?”

Jace gritted his teeth. “He does not fucking have anything to worry about. He just thinks he does. Because of my track record with women, he assumes all women are the same in my mind.” He ran his hand through his hair. “It’s different with you.”

I crossed my arms as we stopped at a red light. “Really...what makes me so different? You haven’t been around me for the past nine years. Now you don’t know whether to treat me like the girl you left behind or the woman I am. That doesn’t change the fact that I am a woman now and not that girl.”

He blew out a long breath as he stepped on the gas again. “It’s not an age thing... It’s a respect thing. I wouldn’t make a move on you for the sheer fact that you’re Nathan’s sister and it would upset him. End of story.”

“Would you want to, if things were different?”

He chewed on his bottom lip. “Want to what?”

“Make a move on me—if I wasn’t Nathan’s sister.”

“That’s irrelevant. It doesn’t matter whether I would want to or not.”

“It matters to me. I want to know.”

He was right. What did it matter if he would never act on it? But I wanted to know if he wanted me, perhaps so I could marinate in that knowledge, fantasize about the what-ifs, and just have the general satisfaction of knowing my desire was reciprocated.

In search of the answer I needed, I rephrased my question. “Why did you come to The Iguana tonight?”

He briefly shut his eyes and exhaled. “I don’t know, Farrah. I wish I could give you an answer that makes sense. It was an impulsive decision. I wasn’t planning on staying. I guess I was curious as to whether you were telling me the truth about not getting into some guy’s car.”

“There was no guy,” I blurted.

He narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, there was no guy?”

My face felt hot. “I lied.”

He raised his voice. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

There was no choice but to be honest. Any other explanation would have made me sound like a pathological liar. I’d already put everything on the line tonight by getting up on that stage…

Here goes.

“I felt really awkward, coming home and finding you with that girl. I was leaving so I didn’t have to be there while you were doing God knows what with her in the next room. I tried to leave with little fanfare, but then my stupid car wouldn’t start. When you asked me who I was meeting, I just said the first thing that came to mind.”

Jace didn’t respond. My heart beat faster with every second that passed.

Say something.

His eyes softened. “You didn’t have to lie. You could’ve just told me you were uncomfortable. I would’ve left the house and gone somewhere else.”

“Why should you have to do that? It’s your house, too.”

“Well, now that I know it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll try to be more considerate.”

“I wasn’t mad because you brought a girl over to the house per se. It wasn’t only that.” I braced myself. “It was the timing. I was mad because I felt something between us when we were hanging out at the pool. And you bringing a girl over so soon after made me incredibly jealous.” Every muscle in my body tightened.

The truck jerked as Jace turned from the main road and took off down a side street.

Where is he going?

He eventually pulled into an empty playground parking lot.

Looking a bit tormented, he shut off the truck and leaned his head back against his seat. Then he turned to me. “You need to get that moment that happened between us out of your head, okay?”

“Are you saying there was a moment? You felt it, too? It wasn’t my imagination?”

“Whether or not I felt anything is irrelevant.” He looked me in the eyes. “Nathan would kill me if I ever laid a hand on you.”