It will pass. Eventually it will pass.
It had to.
Eventually it will get better. Eventually I will accept it. Accept what happened.
That for a brief golden time I was there, with him.
And that time was over. Never to return.
She looked around her, at the worn, shabby interior of the cottage. So short a time ago all she had wanted in the world was to be back here, without her life turned upside down, with Ben just an ordinary child, living a normal life with her.
She would have given anything for that.
Be careful what you pray for…
The old adage came bac
k to haunt her.
The nights were the worst. The nights were agony. Hour after hour she stared into the dark. Remembering.
It’s all I have. Memories.
Memories that were vivid, agonising. But memories that she knew, with even greater anguish, would start to fade. Like old photos, the colour seeping from them year by year. They would become blurred and lost. Gone for ever.
Just as he was gone for ever from her life.
Her thoughts reached for him, reached through the silence and the dark, reached across the sea and the land.
But where he was she did not know.
And what would it matter if you did? What would it matter if you could see him where he is? His world has taken him back—to the life he had, the life he has again. You were an…intermission…for him. He did what he did to keep Ben safe—and now Ben is safe again. Ben does not need him. He can have his own life back, as Ben has his.
As you have yours.
Without him.
Only memories. Memories to last a lifetime. Nothing more than memories.
A damp sun struggled through the clouds. After days of rain, the overcast skies were clearing. Raindrops dazzled drippingly on the branches of the trees, and a milder wind creamed up the coombe, bringing the scent of the sea.
‘Come on, Ben, let’s go down to the beach.’
With forced jollity she rallied him, filling her voice with an enthusiasm she did not feel. Nor did she meet with any in return.
‘I don’t want to,’ said Ben. ‘I want to go back to Tio Rico’s beach.’
‘Other people are having their holiday there now,’ she said. ‘It’s like here in Cornwall. People come for a holiday, and then they go home. That’s quite sad for them, isn’t it? We live here all the time—so that’s good.’
Ben looked at her mutinously.
‘We could live in the house by Tio Rico’s beach all the time,’ he said.
‘That house was only for a holiday for us. This is the house we live in. And we’re very lucky to be here, Ben. Lots of people have to live in cities, where there isn’t any beach at all.’
‘I don’t like the beach here. It hasn’t got a swimming pool. And it hasn’t got Tio Rico.’ Ben’s lower lip wobbled.
‘The beach here has got waves,’ said Lizzy, with determined cheerfulness.