“Hey, are you okay?” Jacob asked, standing in front of me and putting his hands on my shoulders. My mother had disappeared into the x-ray room now that the pictures were taken, so we were alone in the hallway.
“I don't know,” I answered honestly, looking up at him. “I know what's going to happen next. I know how to give the medications. I know the techniques. I know the care plan, but...”
“But, it's different when it's someone you love,” he finished for me. I nodded and he wrapped his arms around me.
I placed my ear on his chest, closing my eyes. Jacob's steady heartbeat and the strength of his arms held me still, even as my world threatened to spin out control. In his embrace, I was safe.
“You going to be okay?” he asked me softly, his breath soft against my hair.
I nodded, still holding tightly onto him. I appreciated that he didn't let me go. He was waiting for me to let go first.
Slowly, I took a deep breath and relaxed my grip on him. My mother could walk out at any moment, and even though I knew we could spin it, I didn't want her to see us. I didn't feel like defending myself against the will of the Ladies' Bridge Club tonight.
“I'll go get the breathing treatment,” I murmured. He gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze before turning to go check on the x-rays.
I went to an exam room and set up the tubing and medications. He would wear a mask and breath in medications that would open his lungs and let him breathe better. I knew how to set these up as we did them often, yet my fingers slipped and twisted on the tubes like I was a novice.
Finally, I brought my dad in and set him up. He struggled with the mask at first, but when I told him the medicine would help him breathe, he gave it a good attempt. Within a few breaths, I could see the tension relax slightly from his shoulders as the medicine started to work on his body.
I left my mother watching my father, and stepped out into the hallway. Dr. Matthews came around the corner. He gave me a gentle, soft smile, and then, since no one was around, a hug.
“It's pneumonia,” he told me, his voice low. I nodded into his shoulder. I'd known it the moment I heard his lungs.
“Thank you for being here,” I whispered. I was clutching at him again.
“Of course,” he replied. “I'm always here for you, and not just because it's my job.”
I looked up into his pale eyes and he kissed my forehead. I felt loved. He was my protector. He rode a motorcycle, kicked ass in the clinic, and he loved me.
He gave me one more squeeze before going to the exam room to talk with my parents. I heard his low voice as he told them the results of the x-ray. He answered questions about the antibiotics and medications he was sending home with them.
I peeked through the open door to see my mother sitting next to my father, her hands wrapped around his. He looked smaller now than I remembered. Frailer. My mother sat with her back perfectly straight as she nodded to Dr. Matthews' words.
I leaned against the hallway and closed my eyes.
The whole reason I was in Iowa was to take care of my father. I had known what was coming from the moment I'd agreed to come.
Yet, it was different now that it was happening. It was so much harder. I didn't have my clinical detachment to keep me sane. This was going to be so much harder than I expected.
But, at least I had Jacob. I could hear his voice, soothing and calm, as he spoke to my parents. Just hearing him made my heart ache just a little bit less. I knew that he would help me when my clinical facade cracked and I needed to be a daughter rather than a nurse to my father.
I knew that he would be there for me. I knew it deep in the core of my bones, and it gave me comfort knowing that I wasn't alone anymore.
I had someone now.
Chapter 21
“So, we're breaking up today,” Jacob announced.
I looked across the bed at him and raised an eyebrow. Both of us were still completely naked and tangled up in his sheets. We'd been laying there all morning, simply enjoying laying in bed and playing on our phones together. Breaking up seemed like an odd thing to do at this point.
“Um, we are?”
“Not you,” he explained, holding up his phone. “Katie and I. We're doing it today.”
A small thrill went through me. This was the first step to Jacob and I being able to actually date. We would need to let the town settle down for a little bit after this, but hopefully I would stop getting mean looks from all the old ladies any time I even mentioned his name in public.
“How's it going to happen?” I asked him, leaning back in his very comfortable bed.