"No, I'm not coming in. Find someone else tonight. Liz is always looking to pick up shifts, try her," I told her getting ready to hang up.
"I did, and she's sick too. Please, Kaylee, I'm desperate."
I wavered for a moment. Owen was fast asleep and not likely to wake up at all this evening. I was just watching bad TV and eating pizza; maybe I could help them out, at least for a couple hours. I bit my tongue as the habit to take as many shifts as possible tried to make me say yes. I was supposed to be with Owen tonight. I heard the bed creak in the other room, and I forced the "yes" creeping up my throat back down. He had flown out to see me, not to have me run off to work while he slept.
"I can't." I tried my best to make it sound final.
"Kaylee, please. At least just see if you can come in for a couple hours," my boss implored into the phone. I felt bad, especially since all I was doing was watching him sleep. I knew my coworkers would be struggling with the short staff, and I hated to leave them in the lurch. I could feel my loyalties straddling a fence, and I hated it. I was going to feel guilty no matter what decision I made.
"I can't. I'm sorry," I said quickly and hung up the phone. I knew she was going to call me back eventually, but for the moment I was safe. I set the phone down and turned on the sink, splashing some cold water on my face. I hated feeling like I was letting someone down.
I dried my face and stepped out to the main room to find Owen sitting up in the bed. He had dark circles under his eyes, but he was awake and looking at me.
"I flew out here to be with you," he said softly. I frowned, confused. I seemed to remember telling my boss no.
"That's why I told them no."
"You took an awful long time to do it."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, surprised at his tone. He must still be half-asleep and cranky, but I didn't like where he was heading.
"I flew over twelve hours to get here, but you gave serious thought to going to work." A touch of anger entered his voice. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that he had been up all night.
"I did think about it. I thought about going in and helping my coworkers, people who I consider my friends, while you were busy sleeping. I didn't though. I'm staying here." I moved to the foot of the bed in order to see him better. The TV cast a strange bluish glow on his skin, his hair poking up in an unruly pattern. He looked like he could fall over and go straight back asleep at any moment, except for the frown on his face keeping him awake.
"I don't appreciate that you even considered it," he said quietly.
"You mean you're mad that I considered doing something while you were sleeping?" I crossed my arms and frowned at him. He ran a hand through his hair, the TV light casting a strange assortment of shadows.
"I don't get to see you very often, and I'm leaving on a long trip. I didn't think you would run off in the middle of the night." His voice was quiet, like the calm before a thunderstorm.
"So I can't leave to go to my job for three hours, but
you can leave for three weeks for yours." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Owen's eyes went wide and then narrowed.
"That's not fair. My job is about the travel. I don't have a choice. I flew three extra hours just to get here, to see you. But you go do your oh-so-important extra shift, and I'll just sit here by myself. If I had known that you didn't want to stay with me tonight, I would have just stayed in New York."
"Hey, I'm not going in to work! How many times do I have to tell you that I told them no?" I could hear my voice rising with every word, a hot anger beginning to boil in my stomach.
Owen's shoulders sagged and weariness weighed on his body. "I'm sorry, Kaylee. I'm just exhausted, and I hate that I'm sleeping through our date night. This isn't what I had planned."
I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, a hollow dread replacing the anger I felt. "Is it always going to be like this? Just random meetings in hotel rooms where we both are fighting with our schedules?"
Owen stared at the sheets in his lap, his brow furrowed. "I don't know, but I don't like how hard it is right now. I hate that I'm not going to see you for three weeks, and then who knows when we'll have more than a day together again."
I bit my lip and tried not to focus on the thick feeling growing in the back of my throat. I played with the cuticle on my thumb, the words coming out slow. "This isn't going to work between us, is it?"
Owen didn't answer. His hair was across his eyes, obscuring his face, but his silence was all I needed to know the answer. Our worlds had collided, but they weren't meant to stay that way. Despite the feelings I had for him, our lives were just too different and too far apart for us to be together. Sure, we could keep trying, but at what cost? Eventually his traveling and my hospital schedule would just be too much to fight against and it would blow up in our faces. Better to end it now, when it wouldn't hurt quite so much. I knew the lie as soon as I thought it. It would hurt more than anything.
"I'll get my things," I said quietly, standing from the bed. His hand shot out and grabbed mine, keeping me near him.
"No, Kaylee. Don't go. Don't ever go." His voice was soft in the darkness. I realized I was trembling.
"Owen..."
"I love you, Kaylee." He said it simply, his voice soft. I felt my heart forget to beat. It no longer needed to. It didn't beat for me anymore anyway; it beat for Owen.
"I love you too, Owen." The words flowed out easily, my heart overjoyed. They were truer than anything I had ever said in my life. I really did love him.