“How long do you think I have before Bree and Amelia will try to fix me up with someone else?” Gretchen had hoped that losing her virginity would take that pressure off her friends and their quest to get her a man, but she doubted that would be the case. With that sexual burden gone, they could just hunt down a normal guy for her, not some superhero worthy of her first time.
“I think you’re safe through the holidays. It’s too busy a time to try fixing someone up, although I wouldn’t put it past Amelia to throw a Christmas party at her house and casually try introducing you to a couple single guys while you’re there.”
Gretchen could handle some awkward conversations at a party. That gave her a few weeks at least. She always liked Christmas, so having that distraction would keep her busy. She’d just have to be super careful about how many sugar cookies she consumed. She didn’t need these twenty extra pounds turning into twenty-five.
“You could always take a page out of my book and go into holiday hibernation. Don’t surface until the New Year’s Eve hangovers fade away.”
Gretchen had too much family for that, as nice as it might sound. Natalie was different; she had divorced parents and a general disdain for the holidays, so it was easier to fade away for a week or so. “Not everyone hates Christmas, Natalie. I can deal with the matchmaking as long as all the holiday festivities distract me.”
“Maybe you should take some of that money and go on a little trip. You don’t have enough time for Italy, but what about New York City or Vegas?”
Gretchen chuckled. “After what happened to Amelia in Vegas? No, thanks.”
“I doubt you’ll elope while you’re there. But maybe you’ll meet a hot distraction and spend some time catching up on all those vices you’ve missed out on.”
Gretchen eased down into one of the chairs and shook her head. “I don’t think I can spend any of that money. It feels...tainted somehow.”
“What about Italy?”
“I’ll get there someday. Just not any time soon. If I go now, all I’ll see is old ruins and shells of what was. But if I wait long enough, maybe I can go with a man that loves me and I’ll be able to see the beauty in it again. That would make the trip better, don’t you think?”
Natalie smoothed out the fabric in front of her. “It sounds nice,” she said with a noncommittal tone. Natalie was nearly as enthusiastic about love as she was about Christmas.
“If this last week taught me anything, it’s that I’m worth more than I think. I just need the confidence to put myself out there and maybe I can have a healthy relationship with a normal guy.”
“Absolutely,” Natalie agreed. She came over and knelt beside Gretchen, giving her a comforting side hug. “You’ll find someone if you want to. You can do anything you want to.”
Gretchen had said the words, but she didn’t entirely believe them yet. Not even Natalie’s assurances convinced her, but she would try. She wouldn’t let her heart be trampled on by someone like Julian. She’d just reached too high, like Icarus, and crashed to the ground. If she’d opted to date someone safer, it might not have hurt as much to fall.
“Thanks, Natalie.”
“I’ve got an appointment in a few minutes, but I’ll try to check back and help you later.”
Gretchen waved as Natalie slipped out of the ballroom. She watched her go and let her gaze drop into her lap. She would go to Italy someday, she knew that. But she wouldn’t do it with the money Julian gave to her. He thought she was a sellout, and if she spent it, maybe she was.
Getting up, she went into her office and sat down at her desk. She opened the bottom drawer and pulled out her purse. Inside, she could see the thick wad of cash she’d stashed there in an envelope. She felt ridiculous walking around with ten grand in her bag, but it was all she could do until she made her decision.
Bree insisted that she go to Italy and drown her sorrows in a hot Italian lover. Amelia suggested that she mail it back to him if it bothered her to keep it and take her trip. While the idea of sipping prosecco in Capri as a sexy man who spoke very little English rubbed suntan lotion on her body seemed nice, she knew she couldn’t do it. But sending it back would likely result in Julian rejecting the delivery, and she’d never get rid of the money.
That left a third option—to do something positive with the money, so no matter what, some good would come from the whole thing. If Gretchen did something worthwhile with the money, maybe it would purify it somehow. Make the past week have purpose. Julian might think she was a sneaky liar willing to sell him out, but nothing could be further from the truth. There was one way to make sure he knew it, too.