"Megan, you can't live like this. " When he touched her, she flinched.
Despite the gentleness of his hands, the soft rumble of his voice, she could feel the sense of failure inside her. She had failed herself, and she was failing him. "I don't have a choice. " She shook her head, attempting to pull away from him, to put some distance between them.
Didn't he know what his touch did to her? What it made her ache for? He could touch her and she wasn't seeing the deaths he had been part of, she wasn't feeling the brutality of his past or the violent anger she knew he felt toward the Coyotes. She felt the heat of his body, the calloused
warmth of his hands; she felt a hunger that she knew was her own and it terrified her. Because she knew, once he was gone, she would never have it again.
"We all have choices. " The dark baritone was a caress itself as his other hand landed on her hip, holding her in place each time she attempted to move away from him. "Stay still, Megan. You said you're calm when I'm near. That my emotions don't batter you; they don't bring you pain. Why?"
"I don't know. " Her hands lay against his chest, and she knew she should be pushing him away. But she couldn't.
He warmed her, took away the cold and replaced it with heat. "And I don't need to be babied by you. Do you think I want to get used to it, Braden? That I want to let myself use someone else's defenses for my own?" Her fists clenched at the thought as she forced herself to push away from him, to leave the shelter he provided.
"God. I don't need you to protect me any more than I need my family doing it. "
"What you need is your ass paddled for attempting to fight this alone. " He growled, his frustration apparent in his voice.
"Keep threatening to paddle me, Braden, and I'm going to make you
regret it. " Her eyes narrowed on him. This was the second threat.
"Or I'll make you enjoy it," he snapped back. "There are natural barriers to protect you from this, Megan. Why haven't you found them?"
"Do you think I haven't looked?’ Why did men always think it was just a matter of finding something?
"I've got a library of self-help books, Braden. I've watched every documentary and tried every fucking yin and yang psychological trick I can come up with. They don't work. "
He was too calm now, too calculating.
"Did you suspect?" She felt tension fanning inside her as the suspicion began to grow in her mind.
"Of course I suspected. " His eyes were narrowed on her as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I didn't realize how debilitating it was, but I suspected you possessed the gift. I watched you in that canyon, Megan. You knew before the Coyotes fired. You sensed the danger and the death before you ever stepped foot from that Raider. It was only logical to assume you were Empathic. "
She blinked back at him in shock. "And you never said anything?"
"What was there to say?' He shrugged negligently, his eyes still
narrowed on her, his gaze considering. "All the signs were there. "
"Is that why we've spent the day going over the murder scenes?" She kept her voice low, her fury contained. "You did it deliberately?"
His brow arched in challenge. "Of course. You have the ability to find the answers. I don't. "
She breathed in roughly. "And now?"
"And now, we'll go back. " His voice hardened. "We'll work on your shields when this is over. When you're safe. But now, you need the edge to stay alive. We'll go back and you will work at figuring it out. "
"No. " The snarl was one of fury, betrayal. He was fucking using her. "I'll be damned if I will. I can't figure it out, Braden. Do you think I haven't tried?"
"That's exactly what I think. " His voice hardened. "I think you've grown so used to hiding that it's become automatic. That the trauma of the gift coming so late, the inability to produce an adequate barrier against it, has resulted in an ineffective barrier. The pain gets in, the emotions and the shock of the intensity of the violence throw up just enough of a shield to keep the truth out, while allowing the pain to build. We'll work on that, too. "
She stared back at him in horror. "You're serious. "
"Of course I'm serious. " His expression was completely confident. "You can't afford to hide, Megan. These gifts_"
"It's a curse. At least call it what it is," she snapped out furiously. "And I'll be damned if I'll go back to the murder scene. There's nothing there. I tried. "
"You didn't try. You hid. No more hiding. "