‘I thought I deserved it for not being the son she wanted.’
Her hands linking round his waist, Betsy swallowed so hard that she hurt her throat. He was a man of steel forged in fire and she had never truly appreciated that. He was tough because he had had to be tough to survive, hard because he knew that weakness meant vulnerability and distrustful because too many people had let him down.
‘The abuse I suffered is the reason why I chose to have a vasectomy,’ Nik spelled out in a harsh undertone. ‘I didn’t want to have a child in case I too felt the same way my mother felt about me. I couldn’t bear to put a child through the same pain as I had suffered. However, I know that I am not like my mother and I decided that the vasectomy was an overreaction on my part.’
His explanation was so simple and yet it rocked her where she stood for it had really never occurred to her that Nik might have had a very good reason to make that choice while he was still so young. She had thought only of more selfish and less presentable motivations relating to reluctance to have his freedom curtailed by the responsibility of becoming a parent. She pressed her rounded tummy to his big, powerful frame and leant against him. ‘You are a kind and caring man. I know that you will protect and cherish these babies with your life. You are nothing like your mother—don’t ever think you are,’ she breathed shakily.
Nik closed his hand to her chin and tipped up her face to look down at her. ‘I was scared that when I told you the truth you would hate me for having got you pregnant—’
‘I could never hate you,’ Betsy whispered, wide azure eyes locked to his lean, darkly beautiful features. ‘I love you too much for that and I’ll love our children the same way...’
His level black brows pleated, his stunning eyes glittering with surprise and curiosity below a fringe of luxuriant black lashes. ‘You’re saying you still love me? How is that possible?’
‘I never stopped. When I said you’d killed my love the day I threw you out, I was being a drama queen,’ Betsy confided guiltily. ‘I was angry but I didn’t mean it—’
‘Don’t say stuff like that to me,’ Nik advised, long brown fingers cradling her delicate jawbone. ‘I thought I’d lost you for ever. I went to see a therapist about the flashbacks and nightmares when they got worse,’ he admitted gruffly. ‘Being honest about my childhood lightened the load and helped me come to terms with it as an adult. I put it behind me. I just don’t look back...except where you’re concerned.’
‘And why am I different?’ Betsy prompted intently.
‘Because you’ve always inspired feelings inside me that nobody else does,’ Nik confessed. ‘But I didn’t realise what they were until it was almost too late. I know you weren’t happy when we were first married, but I was. Just having you in my life and my home was enough for me. Without you, everything went to hell and I was hopelessly unhappy.’
Betsy rested up against him with a sigh of pleasure. ‘It was the same for me. I think we belong together.’
‘And I think missing you and wanting you and needing you all the time means that I love you,’ Nik confessed in a tone of self-derision. ‘I’m sorry it took me so long to work out that you make me happy but at least I got there in the end—’
Betsy gazed up at him with wonder in her eyes. ‘You love me?’
‘Without you there’s nothing to look forward to,’ Nik admitted baldly. ‘Even the sound of your voice on the phone lifts me...’
Happiness foamed up inside Betsy, banishing the pain, the worry, the insecurity, and opening up a view of the future that was gloriously inviting. ‘I was really scared that you only came back to me to give our marriage another chance because I was pregnant.’
‘That was only my excuse. The truth is that I wanted to come back and once I got the idea in my head I couldn’t wait to do it,’ he confided, looking at her with tender appreciation. ‘I can’t face my life without you in it.’
Betsy pushed her face into his throat, breathing in the familiar scent of him with huge satisfaction, knowing he was finally home with her in every way. ‘Will Cristo ever forgive you for what happened tonight?’
‘We’ve made our peace. He knows he was in the wrong.’
Betsy studied him in dismay. ‘That’s not what—’
‘He shouldn’t have had any feelings for you at all and he knows it,’ Nik parried stubbornly.
‘I’m tired,’ she whispered, briefly resting her heavy head down on his shoulder. ‘Let’s go to bed before it gets any later.’
&nb
sp; In the hall, Nik lifted her up to carry her upstairs.
‘You don’t need to do that any more,’ she reminded him gently.
‘Carrying you gives me a kick, latria mou.’ Nik laid her down on their bed and a charismatic smile flashed across his wide, sensual mouth. ‘And when one of you becomes three and the babies are born, life will be even better because I’ll have two extra people to take care of.’
‘And we’ll all be very demanding,’ Betsy forecast in warning as he unzipped her gown and helped her to take it off.
‘I love you enough to put up with anything you care to throw at me, pethi mou,’ Nik asserted, sliding into bed beside her to reach for her slight body and ease her close. ‘I think I must have fallen for you the very first time I saw you because I couldn’t get you out of my mind.’
Her pale fingers skated lovingly through his silky black hair as she relaxed into the circle of his arms. ‘It was mutual,’ Betsy confirmed drowsily, winding her arms round his neck. ‘I need to get up and take my make-up off. Don’t let me fall asleep...’
But Nik was much too content holding his sleeping wife to wake her up. Wide awake, he luxuriated in his wonderfully new sense of peace and contentment. Betsy stirred and snuggled into him with a faint sigh of satisfaction as even in sleep he was the source of her security. In the darkness, Nik smiled. This, he was convinced, was the essence of being happy...