She was really quiet. So quiet I thought we’d been disconnected, but I was too afraid to utter a word. It was her that finally spoke, and in her all-knowing way she simply said, “I won’t tell.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I had a wonderful-horrible dream. Amir and I were together. He was holding me and kissing me with abandon. The kind of abandon that men rarely offer. I was soaking it up, wallowing in it with him—in his affection and how much he wanted me. It felt good to be desired and even in the dream state, I ached to feel his hard body pressed to mine.
He stroked my body with those huge hands and played my body like an instrument, eliciting cries and moans as he parted my wet folds and used his finger to make me orgasm. Within the dream, I begged him for more, for all of him. He complied, pinning me down with his broad chest and sliding his hardness in and out of me.
He made love to me the same way he had that last night together. Like, true love making. Not sex, not a one night stand. True love! I’d tried to banish all those feeling and thoughts, and now because of this stupid dream, they came rushing back in. Amir owned me—at least, in the dream—he completely possessed my body, causing a raft of cravings to erupt and seek release. He held me and made me feel safe, and then he gave me rapturous, blissful escape.
I woke up calling his name. Then I fell back against my pillows crying. My body was still recovering from the orgasm, and when I touched myself my hand came away soaked with lubrication. How? From just a freakin’ dream? From just two nights with a man I didn’t know?
I stayed in bed the entire next day, and by the following, I sorely needed a shower. I was in just my sweatpants and a ratty old T-shirt and my hair was up in a knot on top of my head. I didn’t have on any makeup and even to myself, my reflection looked horrible. Anna called, but I let it go to a message knowing it was really late for her, and she would be heading to bed. If this were a normal Saturday, I would have been out and either working or grocery shopping.
I called and ordered pizza and then plopped on the couch to wait for the delivery. After only ten minutes, there was a small knock on my door. Thinking it was the pizza—but much quicker than normal—I didn’t hesitate to swing the door wide, twenty dollar bill in hand.
Oh no. “Amir? What are you doing here?”
His handsome grin instantly sent jello to my knees, and I clutched the door to stay upright. “Hello, beautiful. I missed you.”
It had been almost two months, and I’d not heard a word from him and now here he was. I was mortified at my unkempt appearance, and then I suddenly cursed Anna in my head thinking she’d told him. I stood there with my mouth hanging open in shock, blocking the doorway. Amir casually waited, crossing his hands in front of himself as I sagged and swore and gripped the door for dear life.
“Will you not let me in?” he finally asked.
“Oh yeah—sorry—sure.” I stepped aside, and as he passed, I straightened my shirt the best I could and pulled up my pants.
Instead of sitting on the couch, he turned to me and put both hands at my hips, gazing into my eyes. He reached over me and swung the door shut, still wordlessly holding me in rapturous sway. “Have you come to your senses?” he asked.
I darted my eyes, thinking. “Um…”
He chuckled and repositioned his hands so one was at my neck and one was at my lower back, and he pulled me into his hard body.
“Ohhhhh,” I managed to sigh as he slated his mouth to mine, wasting no time and kissing me as if we were an old couple having only been apart a few hours.
When he pulled back, leaving me limp and breathless, he said three words that again rendered me useless and speechless. “You are mine, Julie.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I stuttered through an odd nodding and head shaking response and then peeled myself away from Amir’s chest. I ached to stay in his arms and feel his strength and that elusive peace I seemed only capable of feeling when I was with him. The odd sense of living in an incomplete state had haunted me since I left Dubai, and now, in this moment, I felt whole for the first time in months.
He let me wander towards the small kitchen—away from him—as I caught my breath. “I will sit,” he announced.
I waved him to the couch and leaned against the counter. “Amir. I am sorry. I just—you just caught me off guard is all.”
I busied myself by putting on a pot of water for tea. I put my hand on my belly as I stayed turned away from him. When he spoke, it was much closer than the couch, but I didn’t turn around. “I should have come to you sooner. I should have shown you how I felt with my actions.”
I shook my head and remained facing away from him. I didn’t want him to see my cry. Unfortunately, my voice cracked even though I thought I had it under control. “What made you come? Did you talk to Anna?”
“No.” He was now directly behind me. My insides shivered, and I ached for him to wrap his arms around me. ?
?I came because I could no longer stay away.”
The tears popped from my eyes and a stifled gasp escaped my mouth. My stupid emotions were bubbling close to the surface, and even though I tried my darndest, I couldn’t stop the overflow. He did come to me then, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly against his chest. I cupped my face in my hands and sobbed. “I’m so sorry—too emotional—I hate being a woman.” I cried as he held me with my back against his body.
He kissed the top of my head, “I would have you no other way, princess.”
He still didn’t understand what was happening or why I was so overly hormonal. I debated with myself if I should tell him, and I almost caved in that instant, but I didn’t. I just couldn’t make that choice, and I knew if he knew, he would insist I keep the child and marry him.
I set my jaw and turn off the stove. “Amir, I have to talk to you. I have to—well, we just need to talk. Can you please not touch me for a while? I can’t think when you touch me.”