My stomach twists. “I haven’t been saving birthday money.”

Mom shrugs. “Well, you don’t have a job and you paid for your own dress and shoes. Don’t think I don’t feel bad about that, Riley. I do.”

“Mom…” I shake my head, wishing I hadn’t brought any of this up now. “I don’t want you to feel bad. Are you kidding me? You’re the best mom in the world. I don’t care about the dress or the dance, it’s nothing like that.”

“It is frustrating sometimes, you know.” She checks the rearview and backs up. “You want to give the people you love everything, but you can’t give what you don’t have.”

“You give me everything,” I tell her.

“It’s not enough. And you’ve got college coming up.”

She says it out loud, but her voice fades. It sounds more like she’s talking to herself than me.

I feel terrible that I got her on this tangent. I didn’t even mean what I said, I just had to come up with something that wasn’t “what brought this on is I had unprotected sex with Hunter Maxwell, and I’m thinking about how my own life could be derailed if I don’t get a period soon.”

Now I kind of wish I would have just said that.

I mean it when I tell her she’s the best mom in the world. I couldn’t possibly want for a better mother. She has always done her very best for me, and I feel like an ingrate now because she thinks I think she doesn’t do enough for me.

“That is not at all what I meant, Mom. I am so sorry I brought this up. Please know that I don’t think that. I love you and I love our life, I’m incredibly grateful for both. You’re Super Woman. You don’t need to do more for me than you already do.”

Mom shakes her head, sighing. “No, I’m sorry. Don’t feel bad, I was being too sensitive. This has just been on my mind a lot lately, so you happened to bring it up, and…” She trails off, then looks over and flashes me a smile. “Don’t worry about it, hon. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

I feel a tiny bit better, but not much. “Why has this been on your mind lately?”

She tries to play it off as she cuts the wheel and pulls out. “It’s just stupid adult stuff, don’t worry about it.”

“Mom,” I say sternly. “I’m 18. I am technically an adult now.”

“You’re six,” she states.

“I thought I was seven and I wanted a pony.”

“Ah, that’s right. See, you’re aging backward like Benjamin Button.”

I do not accept her breezy dismissal and let her off the hook; she wouldn’t if the roles were reversed. “We’re supposed to be there for each other, remember?”

Mom shakes her head. “I’m the mother, you’re the daughter. I’m always supposed to be there for you. It’s not your job to be there for me.”

“Mom,” I say, staring at her. “Come on. I’m not a little kid anymore. If you’re stressed about something, talk to me about it. I can handle it, and I’m sure it’ll make you feel better to get it off your chest.”

She sighs, a bit conflicted as she looks out at the road. “There actually is something I need to talk to you about. It’s not unrelated to all this, but I haven’t known how to bring it up. You’ve been so busy with school, and… it’s gonna sound crazy. I tried to think of a way it wouldn’t sound crazy, but I couldn’t find one, so I guess that means it is crazy. Maybe that should be my answer, but…”

“I’m no stranger to crazy. What is it?”

Mom looks over at me, appearing a bit like a deer suddenly illuminated by a pair of headlights. “What would you think about Ray moving in?”

My jaw drops.

I don’t mean for it to, I’m just so surprised.

Not just because she won’t even admit he’s her boyfriend right now, but because Mom has never, ever been serious enough about any boyfriend to propose letting him move in with us.

“I know we haven’t been together for very long,” she says quickly when I don’t respond. “It’s just, Ray’s lease is going to be up on his apartment, and if he renews it, he has to renew it for another year. In theory, that sounds perfect, right? In a year you’ll be off at college and I’ll be living at the house alone, anyway. What better time for a man to move in?”

I open my mouth, but Mom doesn’t let me get a word in.

“But in practice, it’s a little more complicated. Remember how I told you Ray has been wanting to open that boxing gym, and he finally found a perfect space for it, and the price was right, and it seemed like it was finally going to happen for him?”

Tags: Sam Mariano Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net