“Not yet.” His voice held that edge of command I wouldn’t dare disobey. “Tell me what you want. I need to know what you fantasize about.”
I shook my head. No way could I confess to what I wanted from him, what I’d fantasized about, what I’d jerked off night after night thinking of. I’d even spent entire afternoons on those fantasies—one of the benefits of never leaving my house.
X brushed my hair from my forehead, then brought his hand down over my eyes. “Close your eyes and don’t think. Just let the words come out.”
It was like he’d cast a spell over me. With my eyes closed, the world seemed to disappear. It was just me and X and my desire for him. “I imagined what would happen if you realized I know who you are. I thought you’d be angry, that you’d…”
“Yes?” He brushed a thumb over my lips. “Tell me.”
“That you’d want to punish me.”
“Mmmm. Keep talking.”
“I imagined you… spanking me, tormenting me, making me serve you without… without letting me come.”
“Look at me.”
I did. I couldn’t disobey him.
“Is that what you want? Do you want me to be angry with you?”
“I… not really, but… yes.”
X’s expression darkened, and he looked me up and down with the cold impersonal look I’d seen him give people he disdained. “You kept information from me.”
I shivered. Fuck, was he really… “I… um…”
“Don’t deny it.”
“I… no, sir. I mean, yes, sir, I did do that.”
He rose and walked across the room to a comfy chair by the window. “Strip and kneel by me.”
“Oh my God.”
He raised his brows, but he didn’t say anything. I was sure he wasn’t the kind of man who asked more than once. He didn’t have to. I would follow him anywhere. I would do anything he said.
My legs shook, but I managed to stand, let the robe fall from my shoulders, and take careful steps until I stood in front of him. I dropped to my knees and gazed up at him. I wasn’t sure what he would demand from me. How far would he take the role play?
“Lie over my lap.”
“I… um…”
“Emilio, you disobeyed me. It’s time for you to accept your punishment.”
Jesus, was he going to spank me?
He held my gaze, and I knew I wasn’t going to say no to him.
I lay over his lap, bracing myself with my hands on the floor.
“That’s good.” He rubbed my ass, hands moving gently up and down, then in a circular motion. “I’m doing this so you remember to be good. I know you can. I’m proud of everything you’ve done for me, but you have to remember to put your safety first.”
“Please.” Was I begging him to spank me or to stop?
“Hush. You can take this. You can be good and take what I have to give you.”
I wasn’t sure I could. I’d fantasized about something like this so many times, but I’d never done anything like it in real life. How much would it hurt? How long would he keep going? I was at his mercy, and that was both the scariest and the hottest thing that had ever happened to me.
“Take a deep breath,” he ordered.
I did.
“Now exhale.”
As I released the breath, he brought his hand down on my ass. The crack was loud in the quiet room. There was a second delay before I felt the stinging pain. I didn’t have time to process it before he smacked me again and again. My world narrowed to his hand and the burning, stinging pain he was delivering to my ass.
I whimpered and begged. Tears began to roll down my cheeks. It hurt like hell, but there was something more than pain that made me cry. It was like X was seeing too far into me. He was too close; it was too much.
“You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you. Your ass is even more beautiful like this, with my handprints on it. You can take just a little more, can’t you?”
I shook my head. I didn’t think I could.
He stroked my back. “Yes, you can. You will.”
He slapped my ass once, twice, and a third time. It hurt, but I felt it all the way through to my cock, and that sensation was incredible. It was like he was jerking me off and spanking me at the same time. I rubbed myself against his leg. I was fully hard again and so fucking needy.
“Shhh.” He rubbed his hand over my sore ass. “That’s it. You did it. You’re such a good boy, taking your punishment.”
“Yes, sir.” I didn’t even have to think about the words; they just came out.
“That’s right. You have to trust me to know what you need.”
“I do. I don’t know why, but I do.”
25
Xavier
I lifted Emilio onto my lap as I fought tears of my own. I’d meant it to be a game, something to fulfill a fantasy of his, a chance to see how far we might go with each other, but it had been so much more and incredible catharsis for both of us. I held him tight. I knew his ass hurt as it brushed against my thighs, but he didn’t complain. He just laid his head against my shoulder, and I stroked his hair.