“Yes! You’ve never done that before,” I shot back, pointing to the ruined sheets.
“I needed to compromise.”
“Compromise for what?”
His eyes traveled up and down my body as he finished pulling his jeans on. “You’re sexy like this. The roughly fucked look really works for you.” He grinned and then, like a switch flipping, his usual mask of indifference slid back into place. “I don’t fuck women and keep them. I fuck women and then kill them after I come.”
His words had goose pimples erupting across my flesh, my elation deflated like a popped balloon. “You want to kill me?”
“That’s not what I meant. I’d never take your life now…definitely not while I’m fucking you. I thought you wanted to play?”
Instead of gaping at him, I quickly pulled on my poker face and simply blinked.
“Don’t look at me like that. I took it easy for your first time.” He laced his boots back up. “Wait until I’m fucking you with the blade against your throat.”
I ignored the tiny spark of excitement that sprang up in my gut.
We were definitely a match of epic fucked up proportions. Even our pillow talk w
as screwed up.
I stood naked with blood running down my back and asked a question I wasn’t sure I wanted an answer to. “So you did want to kill me? What changed?”
“No, not exactly. It’s a long story. You weren’t supposed to mean anything to me.” Pausing, I could tell he was hesitant to say his next words. “I remember the tears in your eyes the night I left. You never saw me, but I saw you.
“I look at you now and no longer see that broken little girl. I see a beautifully fucked up woman who’s finally growing into her skin. You’re just like me. You’re everything this world loves to hate. You’re everything I want and I’m everything you need.”
Letting out a long exhale, I gave a curt nod and fought to withhold my emotions.
He was right; I needed him. He’d once told me that I let the devil inside me and he wasn’t leaving anytime soon.
I think he took up permanent residence when he evicted my soul. He’d been right all along. It would take an exorcism to take back what I willingly gave away.
“Why were you supposed hate me?”
“That’s a conversation we don’t have time for. Like I said, it’s a long story. Just know I don’t and I never actually did. But you do an excellent fucking job at pissing me off badly enough to make me feel like I do.”
“How were you going to do it?” I persisted with genuine curiosity even as his confession warmed my chest.
He studied me, his eyes lingering on my stomach before meeting my stare again.
“You’re not ever going to try and leave me so it isn’t important anymore.
If you ever do, I’ll find you, and the things I’d do to you would make your worst nightmare seem like a daydream.”
“You’re a goddamn psychopath.”
“And now you’re being a hypocritical bitch.” He began moving towards the door. “You have fifteen minutes to get yourself together before I fuck you again and use your body to act out all my psychopathic fantasies.”
I wasn’t going to give him time to change his mind about that. I walked into the bathroom, pettily slamming the door behind me just to look in the mirror and see the red R he’d carved between my shoulder blades and throw it back open.
He was already gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY
I bit into the apple he’d had Arlen bring for me while I was in the shower, along with a bowl of oatmeal.
She leaned against the dresser, looking much better than she had the night prior; I sat across from her Indian style at the edge of the bed, dressed in an outfit almost identical to the one I’d worn the day before.