I pull everything out that I need to make my mom’s French toast and bacon. Carey loves it. My phone alerts me that someone just came through the gate. Only a handful of people have the code to get in. Lucky me; it’s the last one I wanted at the moment. Mom.
It’s common for her to stop in early. I’m always up by this time. Normally I’d already have a workout in and be dressed for the day. Today all I want to do is keep Carey locked in the house. I power off the alarm. A few moments later my mom is walking in.
“You’re making a real breakfast?” she asks as she comes over to me for a hug.
“Yeah, I’ve got someone here,” I tell her. I’m not hiding shit anymore. My mom’s eyebrows raise up almost to her hairline. The look of shock wears off quickly before her eyebrows furrow and one of anger replaces it.
“Tell me you’re joking, Beau.” Her hands go to her hips, making her look serious as heck. It’s not often I get to see my mom worked up about something.
“You know I’m a grown man.” I hit the coffee pot to start it. Mom reaches over, pulling the plug out to stop it.
“Yes, I know you’re a grown man and not some stupid boy who is going to ruin something big over a stranger.”
“Stranger.” A bark of unexpected laughter leaves me. I never thought I’d hear my mom call what I’m guessing she thinks is a one-night stand a “stranger.”
She smacks my arm. “You’re so much like your father and he’d never...” She trails off and shakes her head. I am a lot like my dad. For the first time since I’ve been a man I see disappointment on my mom’s face. It’s a look I hope to never see again.
“Never what? I’m lost here, Mom.” I rub my arm where she hit me, pretending it hurts. She rolls her eyes at me.
“Oh, that hurts but your face doesn't? Your sister is going to be pissed. Looks like you’ll be wearing makeup for the wedding.”
“I’ll wear a dress if it makes her happy.” What do I give a shit? Let a motherfucker say something to me. Then the only thing busted won’t be my face.
“See, that’s my Beau. There’s that charm you used to kill us all with.” I turn away from her, plugging the coffee maker back in, needing it more than ever now. Charm isn't the only thing I’ve lost.
War does that to you. Takes pieces of you and leaves you trying to put them back together. Yet once it’s over and you’re home they never seem to truly fit as they once did.
Her hand comes down on my back. “If Carey finds out that you…” I spin around.
“That I what?”
“Cheated.”
“Cheated?” I have to admit that I love the fact that my mom is always looking out for my girl.
“I mean, you’re in love with her. How would you ever explain loving her but sleeping with another woman?”
I stare down at my mom.
I thought I’d gotten better at hiding my emotions. That's almost laughable after last night. I’d snapped. I might have thought I was losing my mind more than a few times before, but snapping isn't something I’ve ever done. That’s a big reason I tried to avoid Carey as much as possible. I knew I was holding on by a thread, and the slightest thing may shred it.
“I haven't been with another woman in years, Mom,” I flat-out tell her, not wanting her to ever be disappointed in me. In fact, it’s been since before I enlisted.
This woman would do anything for her family, and I owe her the respect of such. Plus my dad might bust my other eye right after the wedding pictures are snapped. My dad is a calm man till it comes to the women in his life, and I’m pretty sure Carey has been swept into that.
“Oh.” She scrunches her nose, looking so much like my sister. Her eyes go toward the hallway. When the hell would I have hooked up with someone? I’d been in the Navy when Carey came into our lives.
Then I’d been in a fucking coma fighting my own demons and trying to get myself together while working my ass off with Dad. I didn't think I was good enough, but I still worked toward the possibility that maybe I could have her. It was a stupid thought. The first second I thought someone might be trying to move in on her I lost it. All of my control had splintered in the blink of an eye.
“Carey’s here.” She lets out a loud squeal. “Mom, she’s sleeping.” Mom puts her hand over her mouth, but I can tell that she’s still smiling.