“Sir, we don’t want to have to ask you to leave, but we will if you don’t calm down. I wish we could have saved him, but his heart wasn’t strong enough.” I turn back to him, about to give him the worst verbal beat down, when I hear Shayla’s soft voice.
“Trey?” I look past the Doctor and see her standing with her hands nervously picking at each other. I lose it, I fucking lose all that I have left in me.
“Baby!” I say falling to my knees. The pain of them hitting the ground minuscule to the pain rip roaring through me. The universe could suck me into a black hole and it still wouldn’t be as dark and alone as I feel.
She rushes to me and engulfs me in her small but strong arms. I sob harder than any man ever has, letting go of the fight, letting go of everything I’m holding onto. The Doctor’s right, as much as it pains me, they are fucking right.
“Trey…” Her soft sobs match mine, weak and helpless we stay in this moment. I feel alone. She cries above me, her tears rushing down her cheeks and crashing on my arms.
“He’s gone. My dad is fucking gone.” I become numb after I say those words, acceptance being the root of all evil. Never will I be the same, today a part of my heart died in that room. A part of my soul left this earth.
“Trey…baby…I’m sorry. I wish I could make this better. But all I can say is he will always be here, in your heart.” She says on another cry. I’m not sure if she is trying to convince me of this or herself.
Either way, I wish she could too. I wish that I could find hope in her words, but right now, all hope is lost and I’m numb inside.
Bear with me, there is a lot of people who pushed me to do this. It takes a village.
Todd — TJB.
Thank you. Forever and Always with you is the only place I want to be. I live this life beautifully and boldly, because of you. I will never be able to thank you enough for supporting me during this book, when you stood to lose so much. I can’t believe I had to wait twenty-two years before I got to have you in my life, it seems like another life before you and trust me I love this one so much better. Thank you for being my strong, loving, sensitive, putting up with my crazy ass, giver of the best foot rubs, husband. I love you, ALWAYS.
Lashelle — TEESCHELL. LATRELL. LATWASHA. YOU KNOW.
Wow. What a ride, huh? Two years ago, we sat in an airport and I said, “Hey I’m gonna write another book—how do you feel about these names?” Most would have rolled their eyes (some did) and surprisingly you said, “Ok, but thats not my favorite name.” Then after a few minutes of authoring veto and debate, Kingston, Trey, Lana, and Shayla were born.
For countless nights you have answered every call. You talked me away from the ledge when I thought my work was shit and knocked me off my high horse when I thought my work was the shit. You made me realize my characters stories, live deep down in me and they are too beautiful, not to share. You’ve been my ride or die, my soul mate sister, my mother-f*%^&in swole mate.
Shay was so dear to me and when I wrote her and Lana I felt so much emotion when they were together and that is because of you. You are the Shay to my L. You and I girl, we are the Dynamic Duo. (Foreshadow(ing)so hard!) Trey is for you, so treat that big sensitive guy with care. XOXO.
Yo mom and pops, whats good!?
Mom, you are the strongest person I know. You taught me to live fearlessly and look my destiny right in the eyes. I love you for pushing me to write this book and I thank you for reading it—-and pushing through the sex scenes like a champ without judging me. WOOT!
Daddio, thank you for never taking life too serious and teaching me to live without giving two funkindoodles. I love you for making me sorta kinda effing hilarious. (Tooting my own horn over here.) But, most off thank you for being my stubborn father who I love more than you know. I will always be your little girl.
GITZY BANA! You are the epitome of what kind of writer I wish to be. You are the best sister and no, not because you are the only— I mean maybe, ok jk. WHY YOU NO ANSWER MY CALLS! I love you, Breanna, I will never stop admiring you or aspiring to be as talented as you. You are the creative talents in our family. I love you!!!!
Kate Stewart —
Thank you for giving me “the talk” and talking on the phone with me for countless hours. For pushing me to set goals and believe in my work. Thank you for helping me with finding my beautiful cover designer and helping me with what is the best cover I could have ever found.
Thank you for being selfless and answering all my messages and calls when I was ripping my hair out and scared. I can’t ever give back to you what you have given to me.
Jules —
I cant even with how amazing you are! You made my vision a reality, but ten times better. You are such a sweet spirit and I seriously adore you! I love that you took me on and welcomed me with open arms. Thanks for being so patient with my crazy ass! I love you!
Raindrop —
Kace, thank you for your continued support and love on this journey! You are such a good friend! We have been through some of the hardest times together and had each others backs. Thank you for bringing me Megan, I mean she is awesome! Lastly, thanks for being the raindrop to my bubble-gum. TO THE LAIR!!!
Janell —
I have known you for such a short time, yet I feel like a lifetime of knowing you has passed! You are my favorite, with your constant positivity and YAS that cute accent! GIRL! Thanks for pimping me out and taking a chance on little ol’ me! I cant wait to meet you and squeeze your face!!! You seriously don’t get it, you are the best! You are my blessing and I cant live without you.
Lauren —
Thank you for loving me. Thank you for having my back always and thank you for being a constant. I know without a shadow of a doubt that we will always have each other. I adore you with all my heart! I love you so big, my boo boo!