“What is it?” I grab it and my eyes find the black ink. They stay silent and now I see why, the letter is from the state of Utah. I know what it is, my eyes scan over Joel’s name ten times.
“Is this what I think it is?” I finally choke out.
“Yes, baby. It is,” Kingston answers, keeping a close eye on my reaction. I don’t know if I should run and hide or read the words presently inked onto this cream paper. I feel my heart racing and my eyes welling with tears. I can’t feel my legs as they grow weak.
I look to my family and Kingston, begging for them to tell me this isn’t real, that I’m not really here in this alternate universe. When I see they can’t, I force myself to read it, to read the words that are most likely going to destroy me.
October 17th, 2016
Attn: Lana James
555 South Seattle Drive
Seattle, WA 55519
Ms. Lana James,
Inmate 2716, Joel Carrel, has been released from the Utah State Prison six months early, on counts of good behavior.
We are writing you to inform you that there is a no contact order still in place and if violated, we ask that you call your local police.
In closing, please refrain from any contact on your end with Joel Carrel.
Thank you for your time.
John Jenson,
The State of Utah
The room starts spinning and I reread the first line again. He’s been released? The man who nearly ended me, the one who broke me into nothing for years is free to roam the streets. Free to come after me, after Kingston, after our...baby.
I grab my stomach, those painful contractions coming back full force, making my knees buckle. I start to lose the floor underneath me, my vision tunneling and my mind going blank. I can feel my heart beat in my throat, my every hair standing on edge.
I feel hands reaching out to grab me and before I succumb to the darkness, I see Kingston’s face and it feels like the world we worked so hard to have together is being sucked into a deadly black hole. I want to scream, but like a nightmare, I am mute and I’m running with all my might from the face of evil, but I’m getting nowhere.
Joel is free and suddenly I feel like I’m in captivity again. The monster is still here, ever more so.
Blackness.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Toddy —
Forever you, forever me, forever ours.
Lashelle —
You’re my ultimate fall, thank you for letting Lana release everything she ever felt, on you. You listened to all the ways she broke, you were her Shayla both in real life and in the book. You are her ultimate fall.
Carmen —
Kingston can never love anyone the way he loves you, his sassy queen. No but really you, Brooks, an
d the kids mean the world to me and I thank you for answering every call and letting me be blessed enough to be in your life.
Jenny —
This journey brought me you, a life long friend and I can never imagine a world where we aren't shit talkers and best friends! Don't forget how beautiful and important you are in my life!