"But you are joking. What can you gather from this old batteredfelt?"
"Here is my lens. You know my methods. What can you gatheryourself as to the individuality of the man who has worn thisarticle?"
I took the tattered object in my hands and turned it over ratherruefully. It was a very ordinary black hat of the usual roundshape, hard and much the worse for wear. The lining had been ofred silk, but was a good deal discoloured. There was no maker'sname; but, as Holmes had remarked, the initials "H. B." werescrawled upon one side. It was pierced in the brim for ahat-securer, but the elastic was missing. For the rest, it wascracked, exceedingly dusty, and spotted in several places,although there seemed to have been some attempt to hide thediscoloured patches by smearing them with ink.
"I can see nothing," said I, handing it back to my friend.
"On the contrary, Watson, you can see everything. You fail,however, to reason from what you see. You are too timid indrawing your inferences."
"Then, pray tell me what it is that you can infer from this hat?"
He picked it up and gazed at it in the peculiar introspectivefashion which was characteristic of him. "It is perhaps lesssuggestive than it might have been," he remarked, "and yet thereare a few inferences which are very distinct, and a few otherswhich represent at least a strong balance of probability. Thatthe man was highly intellectual is of course obvious upon theface of it, and also that he was fairly well-to-do within thelast three years, although he has now fallen upon evil days. Hehad foresight, but has less now than formerly, pointing to amoral retrogression, which, when taken with the decline of hisfortunes, seems to indicate some evil influence, probably drink,at work upon him. This may account also for the obvious fact thathis wife has ceased to love him."
"My dear Holmes!"
"He has, however, retained some degree of self-respect," hecontinued, disregarding my remonstrance. "He is a man who leads asedentary life, goes out little, is out of training entirely, ismiddle-aged, has grizzled hair which he has had cut within thelast few days, and which he anoints with lime-cream. These arethe more patent facts which are to be deduced from his hat. Also,by the way, that it is extremely improbable that he has gas laidon in his house."
"You are certainly joking, Holmes."
"Not in the least. Is it possible that even now, when I give youthese results, you are unable to see how they are attained?"
"I have no doubt that I am very stupid, but I must confess that Iam unable to follow you. For example, how did you deduce thatthis man was intellectual?"
For answer Holmes clapped the hat upon his head. It came rightover the forehead and settled upon the bridge of his nose. "It isa question of cubic capacity," said he; "a man with so large abrain must have something in it."
"The decline of his fortunes, then?"
"This hat is three years old. These flat brims curled at the edgecame in then. It is a hat of the very best quality. Look at theband of ribbed silk and the excellent lining. If this man couldafford to buy so expensive a hat three years ago, and has had nohat since, then he has assuredly gone down in the world."
"Well, that is clear enough, certainly. But how about theforesight and the moral retrogression?"
Sherlock Holmes laughed. "Here is the foresight," s
aid he puttinghis finger upon the little disc and loop of the hat-securer."They are never sold upon hats. If this man ordered one, it is asign of a certain amount of foresight, since he went out of hisway to take this precaution against the wind. But since we seethat he has broken the elastic and has not troubled to replaceit, it is obvious that he has less foresight now than formerly,which is a distinct proof of a weakening nature. On the otherhand, he has endeavoured to conceal some of these stains upon thefelt by daubing them with ink, which is a sign that he has notentirely lost his self-respect."
"Your reasoning is certainly plausible."
"The further points, that he is middle-aged, that his hair isgrizzled, that it has been recently cut, and that he useslime-cream, are all to be gathered from a close examination of thelower part of the lining. The lens discloses a large number ofhair-ends, clean cut by the scissors of the barber. They allappear to be adhesive, and there is a distinct odour oflime-cream. This dust, you will observe, is not the gritty, greydust of the street but the fluffy brown dust of the house,showing that it has been hung up indoors most of the time, whilethe marks of moisture upon the inside are proof positive that thewearer perspired very freely, and could therefore, hardly be inthe best of training."
"But his wife--you said that she had ceased to love him."
"This hat has not been brushed for weeks. When I see you, my dearWatson, with a week's accumulation of dust upon your hat, andwhen your wife allows you to go out in such a state, I shall fearthat you also have been unfortunate enough to lose your wife'saffection."
"But he might be a bachelor."
"Nay, he was bringing home the goose as a peace-offering to hiswife. Remember the card upon the bird's leg."
"You have an answer to everything. But how on earth do you deducethat the gas is not laid on in his house?"
"One tallow stain, or even two, might come by chance; but when Isee no less than five, I think that there can be little doubtthat the individual must be brought into frequent contact withburning tallow--walks upstairs at night probably with his hat inone hand and a guttering candle in the other. Anyhow, he nevergot tallow-stains from a gas-jet. Are you satisfied?"
"Well, it is very ingenious," said I, laughing; "but since, asyou said just now, there has been no crime committed, and no harmdone save the loss of a goose, all this seems to be rather awaste of energy."
Sherlock Holmes had opened his mouth to reply, when the door flewopen, and Peterson, the commissionaire, rushed into the apartmentwith flushed cheeks and the face of a man who is dazed withastonishment.
"The goose, Mr. Holmes! The goose, sir!" he gasped.
"Eh? What of it, then? Has it returned to life and flapped offthrough the kitchen window?" Holmes twisted himself round uponthe sofa to get a fairer view of the man's excited face.