“Why?”
“You’re playing with my fat,” she says.
“It’s not fat,” I tell her. “It’s just soft. I like it.”
“You’re weird.” She shakes her head at me. “Now let me go to sleep. It’s the first time I actually get to sleep all night without worrying about Charles waking up and wanting to be fed.”
“Love you,” I whisper as I kiss her softly on the lips.
“Love you, too,” she responds. She runs her fingers down the side of my face, rolls over, and presses her back to my chest.
I lay there for a long time, just thinking. I can’t seem to close my eyes. I’m completely on edge, but I’m not sure exactly why. Everything is quiet. I’ve just had a massive orgasm, and I should be dropping off to sleep immediately, but I’m not.
The bed’s too empty.
I swallow as I realize the reason for my discomfort. Charles is supposed to be here with us. Though I trust Christine unconditionally and implicitly, I can’t protect him if he’s not here. I need my son with me.
“Falk?” Hannah whispers in the dark as her hand creeps up to my chest.
“Yeah?”
“I miss Charles.”
“I’ll go get him.”
Christine is sitting up in bed with a book, and Charles is sleeping peacefully in a laundry basket lined with my woobie. Christine grins widely and doesn’t look the least bit surprised to see me at her bedroom door.
“I had a feeling you wouldn’t make it through the night,” Christine says, chuckling softly.
“Hannah misses him,” I say with a shrug.
“Right—just Hannah.”
I glance over at Christine, give her the finger, and then pick up the basket.
“Goodnight, Falk.”
“Goodnight, Christine, and thank you.”
I tiptoe back down the stairs with the basket in my hands and return to our room. Hannah sits up in bed and holds out her arms. Charles wiggles a little when I transfer him from the basket to his
mother, but he doesn’t wake.
Hannah runs her hand over Charles’ head, and he lets out a quiet sigh.
“Do you think we should have another one?” she asks.
“Already?”
“Not right now or anything,” Hannah says. “I mean eventually.”
“I think eventually it will end up happening,” I say. “Rhythm method has never been that reliable.”
“What I mean is, would you want another one?”
I think about it for a minute.
“If we did, and it was a girl, it would scare the shit out of me.”