The Handmaid (Unexpected Circumstances 1) - Page 28

I sighed and looked toward the door to the corridor. I walked into the morning room and placed my hands on the cool wood surface of the door leading back into the rest of the castle. I found myself wondering what the garden looked like at night and decided I would go and have a peek, hoping that walking the corridors at night wouldn’t be a concern. I opened the door slowly and peered out before walking through.

There was no sign of anyone else in the hall, and everything was very quiet. I could barely hear the sound of the wind through the leaves of the trees and took a few steps to peer over the ledge to the garden below. The moon was more than half visible, and a handful of torches also lit the garden path through the center from one arched doorway to another. Most of the flowers had closed their petals for the night, but it was still quite beautiful.

As I looked out over the garden at the budding trees and ornate grasses, my eye caught movement off in one corner near an archway that led back inside the castle walls. I took another step closer to the edge and tilted my head to get a better view. I saw the golden-blonde woman from the throne room—the one who was standing close to the royal family when we first entered. I was sure she was not a family member, though, for all of the family stayed behind when King Camden had the rest of the court dismissed. She tilted her head to one side, and her eyes sparkled. She was talking to someone who remained in the shadows but whose form I still recognized immediately.

“It’s all so sudden,” I heard Branford say. “I’m starting to have second thoughts.”

“I can understand that,” the golden-blonde woman said. “It’s a big change for you.”

She reached up and stroked his cheek. I held my breath at the tender touch she bestowed upon him. She was so at ease in his presence, in complete opposition to how I was with him—timid and terrified.

“I just don’t know that I can replace her so quickly,” Branford said, taking a step back from the woman. I let my breath out again, silently thankful that he did not seem interested in her touch.

At least, not publicly.

His words in the carriage tumbled back into my head like a juggling jester.

I didn't have any intention of being faithful.

“You will have to eventually,” she told him.

“I know, but it just seems…” Branford paused and ran his hand through his hair. “Harsh, I guess. It’s not even been a week.”

“You can’t think of it that way,” the woman said. She reached out and took his hands in hers, and this time he did not pull away. Again, my breathing stopped short as the woman’s smile lit up in the moonlight. “You need this. You haven’t gone without in all the years I’ve known you.”

“I’ve been lucky.” Branford’s smile quickly dissolved, and a look of sorrow replaced it. “Up until now.”

“I think I can help change your luck,” she replied. I watched as her tongue darted out across her lips, leaving them glistening in the subdued light.

“Can you now?” he murmured, and his eyes narrowed slightly.

“I have something for you,” she said slyly. “I think it will perhaps help you to up make your mind.”

The woman released Branford’s hands and took a few retreating steps, beckoning him with her fingers. He laughed quietly and shook his head before following her out of the garden and out of my sight.

I took a step backward myself, my hand going to my chest as I felt a shudder run through my body. Replace her, he had said. Replace me, he meant. He already found me lacking and was searching for another. What did she have to give him that would convince him to do so? Panic arose within me as I had a pretty good idea what that might be. It was what I had yet to give him and should have given him the very first night. He didn’t think I was ready, but if not to do so meant my dismissal, I would ready myself. Pain notwithstanding, I was going to have to be ready for him now.

And that is when I made my decision.

Chapter 7—Marginally Succeed

My eyes were burning either from the smoke and the closeness of the fire or the tears that had long since dried on my cheeks. My face was undoubtedly puffy and red. I had completely lost track of time though I knew it was very late now. Four more good-sized logs had been devoured by the main fireplace in the bedroom since I had returned from the hallway overlooking the garden.

I startled when I heard the door creak open and turned in the chair near the fire to see Branford slip through the door and close it behind him. He walked through the morning room silently, glanced toward the bed, and then looked around the room until our eyes met. His brow furrowed, and he looked confused for a moment.

“Alexandra, I thought you would be asleep by now.”

I dropped my head down and looked at my feet, realizing I had never even changed into nightclothes. All my energy had gone into what I might say to him when he returned and into my thoughts about what he might be doing so late at night if not in his own chambers. I changed that focus quickly because the potential answer was far too mortifying. Now that he was before me, I couldn’t find the words I had been practicing in my head.

“I was…waiting for you,” I told him. “I didn’t know if you would want some, um…tea…or anything.”

Branford raised his hands up and ran them through his hair as he crossed the room.

“Alexandra, you look exhausted,” Branford said as he walked to me and reached for my hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you would be waiting up for me.”

Branford pulled me up to stand beside him. I turned my head away but felt his hand on my chin, forcing me to look back at him.

“Are you all right, Alexandra?”

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