“So needing Janet’s help did not matter?”
“It did not.”
“Then if I brought you a child that Hadley helped us to bring into the world, would you love me less for not bearing it myself?”
I could see understanding in his eyes as my words began to resonate, and once again I noticed wetness glistening in the firelight, twinkling in his bright green eyes. His breath hitched in his throat, and I could see him swallow before he spoke.
“Never,” he whispered. “I will always, always love you.”
“And you will love the child I bring to you even if he does not come from my body?”
“He will still be our son,” Branford whispered. “Ours. Yours and mine.”
“Yes,” I said, “he will.”
With a slight nod, Branford stood slowly, his hand still grasping mine as he started to walk away, our fingers still touching until the last possible second when he took the step that brought our caress apart.
I did not try to control my tears as the door to our room closed softly, and I was left alone. I sat on the edge of our marriage bed and stared at the candle burning on the table next to me until I could see nothing but dim glowing light, and my eyes ached in their sockets.
I reached over and doused the light with the tips of my fingers, feeling the slight burn on my fingertips as I extinguished the flame. I lay sideways on the bed, my head resting against my husband’s pillow, and inhaled the scent of him. Unable to ebb the flow of my tears, I pulled his pillow tight to my chest and pushed my face into it to muffle my cries. When I had no more tears to cry, I closed my eyes, refusing to think of what was happening in that room on the other side of the castle, and begged sleep to take me.
And that was when I performed my greatest sacrifice for Silverhelm.
Chapter 2—Gracefully Endure
I did not hear the door when it opened and was only alerted to the queen’s presence when she sat at the end of our bed. I gasped in surprise, sat up, and was about to cry out when her soft voice calmed me.
“Do not be alarmed, Alexandra,” she said. “It is only me.”
Sunniva reached her arms around me, and she pulled me against her as I began to sob again.
“How do I endure this?” I whispered against the fabric of her dress.
“We are royals,” Sunniva responded, her voice full of sympathy and regret. “We serve our people in whatever way is necessary. Our lives are never easy, but we do what we must to guarantee the safety and prosperity of our people.”
“How will a son of Branford’s guarantee their safety?” I asked, my voice sounding harsher than I had intended. “It is not as if he can take up arms and defend them!”
“No, he could not,” Sunniva said, agreeing, “but he would be a symbol of the continuation of the Sterling line. Just as it was with Sterling Castle before Branford surrendered it. It could not be taken fr
om him without the church allowing it. Only when Branford gave up his rights could Edgar take possession of it. The Sterling family has many such places, not just the kingdom of Silverhelm, all of which are secured by an heir.”
“But one child…”
“One child is necessary,” she continued. “More are desired, but one son is imperative. When Camden took the crown, it was with great reluctance. I had not conceived a child, and there was much unrest at the time because of it. However, we had Branford’s father and Branford at the time—both of whom could be successors if necessary. But now…now there is only Camden and Branford left, and Camden…”
Her words faltered, and I gripped her hand.
“If it were only Camden with no signs of an heir at that time, we would have also been forced to take a concubine to secure an heir. As it was, it was still a tenuous position. Had we also been at war or close to war, we would have had no choice.”
“As we have no choice now.”
“Yes, Alexandra.”
“And you would have allowed it?”
“How could I not?” Sunniva chuckled humorlessly.
I rested my forehead on her shoulder and tried to understand everything that had happened. Branford chose me as his wife to anger Edgar into war, and he had succeeded in that venture. Though it had been some time since the final battle had been lost, the repercussions continued to haunt us.