&n
bsp; “I saw what you made,” I tell her. “It smelled good.”
“It keeps well,” she says.
I have no doubt that she made it for that reason, and it makes me feel all the more wretched. She was thinking about me and what I needed while I had my dick in another girl.
I squeeze my eyes shut, and words flow unbidden from my mouth.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
Alina strokes the back of my head again. She obviously thinks I mean Rinaldo.
“She was upset…” My voice trails off.
“Who was?” Alina asks.
This is it.
“Lucia.”
“Who’s Lucia?”
It hadn’t really occurred to me that she has never met anyone in my business circle. I’m always with the same people, and I don’t usually have to define the relationships.
“Rinaldo’s daughter.”
“Oh, yes. I’m sure she was very upset.”
“It’s not that,” I whisper.
“What is it?”
“Lucia…she…I…” I can’t finish. I don’t even know why I started.
“What happened?” Alina runs her fingers over my jaw.
“Lucia…”
“What about her?” Her voice is still soft and concerned. I wonder how long that will last.
I take a long breath and push myself into a sitting position, breaking my contact with Alina entirely. I can’t say this while she’s still trying to comfort me. She rises up just enough to rest her head on her hand and wait for me to answer her question.
“I don’t know what happened, not exactly. She was upset; I was upset… We just…” I stop speaking again. I have no idea how to do this, and I’m just babbling. I center myself with a breath and try to form a coherent sentence. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“Evan, what did you do?”
I stare at my hands on top of the blanket. I remember pushing up Lucia’s skirt with them.
“I slept with her.” I can’t look Alina in the eye as I say it.
From my peripheral vision, I can see that she hasn’t jumped out of the bed. In fact, she hasn’t moved at all. Every muscle is tense, waiting for her to understand what I’ve done and tell me she’s had enough of my shit.
She doesn’t say anything, so I start blathering again.
“I’m sorry. I swear it was a mistake. Rinaldo wanted me to be with her—marry her, even—but I’m not going to. It’s never going to happen again.”
Alina touches my leg and then runs her hand up my arm. She pulls at me gently until I’m lying beside her again. I glance at her, and she appears confused.