Nothing.
I turned around quickly, making the raft rock a little. The girl scurried to the other side as I approached the sealed pouches near her. I continued on like she wasn’t even there. I found what I wanted – a pair of binoculars and one of three flares. They would show up better at night, that was for sure, but chances were the other lifeboats would be closer now than twelve hours later. They had outboard motors, where the raft only had a pair of oars which were almost totally fucking useless.
I moved out towards the opening again and launched the first one. It was incredibly bright, even in the daylight, and I watched it rocket up three hundred meters before it started back down, glowing all the way. It went out right before it hit the water.
I used the binoculars to see if I could see any sign of…well, of anything.
Nothing.
There weren’t even any cumulus clouds on the horizon, which would give me at least some sort of direction to head since clouds would normally form over land. The wind was sending the current south-southwest, which was not ideal. From where we were last on The Oblation, the closest land was southeast.
“Fuck.”
“What is it?”
I felt all my muscles tense. This chick and all her stupid ass questions were going to drive me insane.
“Well, let’s see,” I snarled, “I just realized I left my best pair of shoes in the closet back at home, and I really needed them for the mixer tonight. What the fuck do you think it is? Maybe a whole shitload of ocean and maybe a whole shitload of no land? You think that might be it?”
“Why are you yelling at me?” she screamed and sobbed all at the same time.
The girl just pulled up her legs and practically curled up into a ball. I hadn’t really meant to jump down her throat, but I had a problem with my temper. Once it got started, it was a while before it managed to run its course.
“I’m a little fucking tense, all right?” I shouted at her. “My home just fucking sank, it’s about a hundred and ten degrees in here, and I’m fucking annoyed and wondering why I ever bothered pulling you out of the fucking water! Okay?”
She raised her hand and ran it under one eye.
I made her cry.
Shit.
I really didn’t mean to do that. I had to get myself under control. All the anger and tension was wasted energy, and wasted energy was wasted water and nutrients. I closed my eyes and tried to take some slow, calming breaths, but it just didn’t help. If slow, calming breaths were of any use, I would have quit smoking.
“Holy fucking shit,” I grumbled as a thought hit me that probably saved her life and mine. I reached over and pulled open one of the pouches on my belt. Inside was a small plastic baggie with three cigarettes in it – the emergency stash. “Thank God.”
I pulled one of them out and then carefully sealed the other two back up in the plastic. The lighter in my belt pouch was too wet and wouldn’t work, but there were waterproof matches in the survival gear. I lit the smoke and leaned back against the inside wall of the raft, closing my eyes and inhaling deeply. I took five long, deep drags before I opened my eyes again. She was staring at me with those big, beautiful eyes again, and it was making my cock twitch.
Great – just what I needed.
She looked away from me and was rocking back and forth, all fidgety. Watching her rock back and forth brought images to my head of ways I could make her rock back and forth.
Smoking under survival circumstances was undoubtedly a bad idea, but I had to be able to get myself together enough to calm down and think straight, so it was better than doing nothing at this point.
I took another long drag and blew the smoke out over the water. I tried to savor it, knowing I only had two of the damn things left. I could cope without the smokes if I had a bottle of something, but not having either was going to seriously suck.
She was still wiggling around where she sat which was going to drive me over the edge.
“What’s your problem?” I snapped again. I hadn’t really meant to, I was just tense and pissy. The smoke was helping, but what I really wanted was a drink. I didn’t suppose anyone packed any of those little tiny airplane-sized booze bottles in the survival kits.
“I…um…” she stumbled over her words and looked away. Even under her tanned skin, I could see red creeping into her cheeks.
“What?” I was annoyed now. If she was going to complain about my smoking, I was going to lose it.
“I…have to go to the bathroom.”
I laughed. I took one last long drag, getting it all the way up to the filter before I tossed the butt out onto the waves.
“Then fucking go!”