Jared stands and comes at me, and I shove him again—harder this time. The plastic wing of the plane is cutting into my fingers a little as I hold it tightly. I take a step forward and kick him in the side.
“It’s mine!” I shout. “You can’t play with it!”
“Sebastian!” Miss Janet yells as she looks over at me. “Give Jared the plane!”
The shaking in my hands travels through the rest of my body. It’s all I have. Jared has everything, even parents who are just waiting for the court system to say their house is in good enough shape for him to come home. He has them, he has a home, he has his own toys, and I have nothing.
Screaming at the top of my voice, I throw the plane against the wall. The shaking turns to pressure in my head and chest as I watch it fall in little pieces to the floor.
“You see what you did!” I scream at Jared as I launch myself at him.
Shaking the memory away, I swore to myself again that Alex was not going to have the same kind of life that was forced upon me as a child. I wasn’t going to let that happen to him.
Promptly at eight o’clock, Raine coerced Alex into taking a bath. I watched as he floated little boats around in the water and Raine washed his hair. Seeing her with him made me feel proud of her but also extremely inadequate. How did she know how to do these things? I was at a total loss.
“Can you grab some pajamas for him?” Raine asked.
“Where are they?”
“Second drawer.”
I went into his bedroom and dug around through the dresser until I came up with a faded pair of PJs with Spiderman all over the fabric in various heroic poses. Alex held onto my shoulder as he stepped into them, and Raine dried off his hair and handed him a toothbrush.
“Can Dad pick out a story to read?” Alex asked.
I looked to Raine, nearly panicked. I’d never read a story to a kid in my life.
“Of course he can,” Raine said. She grinned at me and leaned close. “He likes the one called The Hungry Thing.”
After a little digging, I found the book on the floor beneath Alex’s dirty clothes. I tossed the clothes in the hamper near the door and pulled one of the plastic chairs to the edge of the bed. Alex settled in, and Raine pulled the blanket up to his chin.
I held the book in my lap and chewed on the edge of my thumb, uns
ure of how to begin. Raine raised her eyebrows at me and nodded her head toward the book. I took in a deep breath, opened the cover, and began to read in a shaky voice.
It was a weird story about a creature coming into a town and demanding various things to eat, but it never said the words right. Only one kid in town was able to understand what it wanted. Alex laughed every time the creature demanded a new dish.
When I arrived at the end of the story, Raine kissed Alex on the forehead and told him goodnight before she walked out of the room. I stood there for a minute, not sure if I should do the same or not.
Apparently tired of my hesitation, Alex looked at me and held out his arms. Glad for the invitation, I reached down and gave him a hug.
“’Night, Dad.”
“Goodnight…son.” I choked.
Raine was standing in the hall with a grin on her face.
“That was pretty good,” she said.
“I’ve never done that before,” I admitted.
She placed a brief kiss on my cheek.
“You’re a natural.”
I wanted to deny it. I wanted to tell her I had no fucking clue what I was doing, and watching how good she was with Alex was a little intimidating. That little, abused kid inside of me wanted to remind her that she’d be better off finding some dude with a regular job who could drink an occasional glass of wine without losing control of himself.
I didn’t.