“So, what did happen?”
“He caught me taking food out of our house and delivering it to Naughts outside the walls. That’s what really started it. Shortly after that, there was the incident with the Naughts killed by the government police when they came to the wall, looking for food and supplies.”
“I remember that.”
“Well, they came there because my father stopped me from making deliveries to them. He’d never even noticed the food being gone, but he had his guards stop me that night. When the Naughts couldn’t find me, they moved closer to the gates, and the guards fired on them.”
“Plastic bullets though, right?”
“Yes, but two people were still killed by them. They might be less lethal, but they can still kill if they hit the right place. Four more people died of infections later. When I confronted my father about it, he laughed it off and said it meant less work for him. That’s when I started the protests. They were small at first—just a handful of people laughing at me as I spit out conspiracy theories, just like Keller.”
“Keller?”
“He lives in Plastictown,” I say. “Stands on a box and yells at everyone.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ve seen him.”
“The last protest attracted a lot of followers, enough that my father took notice, and he didn’t like what he was hearing, I guess, so he had me arrested and sent to Havens.”
“Havens?” Aerin gasps. “You mean the prison for the criminally insane?”
“Yeah.”
“But all those people are scheduled for execution.”
“Yes, they are.”
“Shit, Talen. How did you ever get out of there?”
“Violently.” I lean back and grab a water bottle. While I drink, I think about how I can tell this without admitting that I became a total sociopath in the process.
“Talen, it’s all right.” Aerin places her hand on my arm. “You can tell me.”
I glance over at her.
“Can we have sex first?”
“What?” She narrows her eyes and shifts away a little.
“If I tell you,” I say after swallowing past the lump in my throat, “you might not want to touch me again, and I’d like to have one last good time with you.”
“‘One last good time’?” Aerin shakes her head, and her tone rises. “Is that all this is to you, a good time?”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How did you mean it?”
“I, uh…”
She folds her arms across her chest as she stares me down.
“Well, what is it to you?” I jump up and take a few steps away, hoping the distance will allow me to focus my thoughts. I’m fucking this up; I know I am. “I have no idea what I’m doing here. I haven’t had a girlfriend since high school, and I found out about that when my soccer teammates informed me that I did. Apparently, she told everyone we were boyfriend and girlfriend after our first date, so I just went with it. I don’t know what I am to you or what you are to me! I just know the idea of never touching you again makes me…makes me feel like…fuck! I don’t know! Like I want to curl up and die. I don’t know what that means, Aerin, and I don’t know how to do this! Shit, I was a fucking virgin when we met.”
My eyes are burning, and I turn away from her so she won’t notice. After a couple of silent minutes, I hear her call out.
“Talen, please come sit back down.”
I swallow hard and then return to her side. She pats the ground beside her, and I sigh as I sit down.