“Um, I suppose so.”
“Well, that’s a crock of shit. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I have seen. I’d send you pictures, but I assume you’ll probably want to eat again someday. Just believe me when I say there are women out there who wait way too long to see their doctor.”
“What does that have to do with baby goat heads?”
“If someone comes in with some serious weirdness going on down there, you’re supposed to take notes in the system for the doctor to see. The problem is, the patients can see the notes. They get all offended when you write ‘Moron noticed her labia was producing large, purple growths about six months ago and can no longer pull her pants all the way up. It’s occurred to her that maybe that ain’t normal.’ So we’ve got a code: baby goat heads. If there’s something seriously freaky going on, the doctor gets a little advanced warning, and no one knows what the fuck we’re talking about, so they can’t really get offended.”
“Oh my God! You are not serious!”
“I’m completely serious. That shit happens every week around here. That isn’t even the worst of it. There are people who have inserted—”
“Enough!” I yell into the phone. “I don’t want any more details!”
Kathy laughs.
“Overall, I really like it. It’s pretty much what they told me it would be. I spend more time dealing with bodily fluids than I might prefer, but the people I work with are awesome. Everyone has a sense of humor.”
“That’s great, Kathy. I’m so happy for you.”
“I’ll get vacation time after I’ve been here for ninety days. I might have to come and visit you.”
“That would be awesome!”
“I was thinking I’d try to be there around your birthday so we can hit the bars.”
“Kathy,” I cry with mock indignity, “are you already plotting to get me drunk so you can take advantage? I’ve only just lost my virginity this past week!”
“Oh, baby, you know it!” We both laugh, but my laughter is cut short.
“Jesus fucking Christ!”
I jump and swivel in my chair to see Deklan standing in the doorway of the coffee shop, glaring at me with piercing eyes.
Chapter 12
My husband towers over me, jaw tense, hands clenched, and eyes ready to set fire to anything and anyone in his path. My whole body tightens up, and I have to fight the urge to hide under the little round table in front of me, as if that would help.
“Kathy, I gotta go,” I say quickly. “Call ya later.”
I hang up and turn around to face Deklan’s glaring eyes and clenched fists.
“What the ever loving fuck are you doing here?”
“I-I…” I open and close my mout
h a few more times, but my voice isn’t responding to any commands. The answer to the question is too simple: I’m drinking coffee and talking on the phone. Saying it out loud is not only pointless, but I fear dangerous.
The barista who made my coffee is staring at us. So are some of the other customers. Two women in line lean close to one another, whispering and glancing at me. I’m only vaguely aware of their intruding looks; I’m too focused on the fury in my husband’s eyes.
Without another word, Deklan grabs my arm and pulls me out of the coffee shop. His car is right outside, double-parked. He yanks open the passenger side door and tosses me into the seat, slamming the door hard enough to make the car shake. He starts to yell as soon as he gets in the other side.
“I nearly had a heart attack when I got home and you weren’t there!”
“I just wanted to make a phone call,” I say softly.
“No shit,” he says with a growl. “How the fuck do you think I found you?”
“You…you traced it?”