“Maybe you don’t. Maybe you shouldn’t.”
“Life goes on,” I said. “You can’t live in the past as if the people you have lost are going to show up again someday. You keep them in your memories, but you can’t dwell on it.”
“Maybe sometimes you have to.” Aiden’s eyes darkened.
“What do you mean?”
“What if dwelling on it is the only thing that keeps you going? What if it’s the only way you can live with it?”
“Is that how it was with your dad?”
“My dad? Oh…” Aiden straightened and looked away for a moment. “Well, yeah. My mom left his den exactly like it was. It’s probably still like that.”
“Even now? Wasn’t that back when you were in school?”
“Yeah, it was my freshman year. I don’t know what she did with it all, but it’s probably still there. I left home right after I graduated, so I don’t know for sure.”
“You never went back?”
“Nope.”
“But she kept everything just like it was?”
“As far as I know. Like I said, she kinda went off the deep end at that point.”
“That’s not healthy,” I said.
“She’s not a healthy person,” Aiden agreed. “I don’t think I could have thrown out his stuff either. That just seems like…well, like I was trying to get rid of them, trying to forget.”
“You don’t forget.” I reached out and put my hand on his arm. “At the same time, you have to let go.”
I felt his arm tense under my fingers. For a minute, he seemed like he was going to say something but took a deep breath instead.
“Ready to find something fun to do?” he asked.
“Sure,” I replied.
No doubt, Aiden was good at deflecting.
Aiden shoved his cap into one of the motorcycle bags and dug around in his garage until he found his extra helmet. A few minutes later, I found myself wrapped around him on the back of the motorcycle again. I didn’t want to admit it, but it still scared the hell out of me. With me on the back, I was pretty sure he wasn’t going as fast as he usually did, and I was grateful for it. As it was, we went plenty fast.
We rode to Oleta River State Park, and Aiden talked me into renting a kayak. He wanted us to each get our own, but I flat-out refused. I’d never paddled any kind of boat before, and I wasn’t about to start in an area known for alligators. We got one of those that fit two people, and Aiden did most of the actual work to move us around the canal.
Shortly after we left the dock, I was captivated by the scene around me, forgetting all about the potential appearance of large reptiles. The mangroves were beautiful, and Aiden told me everything I ever wanted to know about them.
“They actually live in the salt water,” he said. “Since their roots are all over the edge of the canal, they slow down the waves coming in from the ocean and help with erosion. They also make it a lot easier to navigate the water, and there’s a ton of sea life. See?”
Aiden slowed us down near a batch of mangrove roots and leaned over near the water. Just under the surface, three jellyfish bobbed about.
“Watch this,” Aiden said with big smile. He reached down and tapped the top of one of the jellyfish.
“Won’t it sting?” I asked.
“There aren’t any tentacles on the top,” he said. “Those are what can sting you. Watch what it does.”
I peered over the side, bracing myself as the tiny watercraft leaned with our
weight.