“Yeah.” I swallowed and nodded, trying to keep the feeling of dread that was washing over me from turning into some
thing worse.
I closed my eyes for a moment, barely hearing Mayra’s offer to drive me over to the shop. If she wasn’t driving me to school, would she still come over to the house? We had just finished up the last of our project—it was due the next day—so there wouldn’t really be a reason for her to be there. I might start getting to sleep earlier since I had been working late to get all my website work done. I could probably pick up a couple other website jobs to take up the extra time.
I didn’t want any other website jobs.
I wanted Mayra to come over, work on homework, and watch TV with me. I wanted to sit with her and feel her hands in my hair. I wanted to laugh at Big Bang Theory with her and talk about the crazy stuff that came out of Adam Savage’s mouth on MythBusters.
The very idea of her not being here anymore after school was absolutely terrifying.
“Matthew? What’s wrong?”
I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t think. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t imagine coming home alone after school again every day with no one there anymore to talk to or just sit beside. Usually when I knew something was going to change, I could come up with something to fill the hole but not this time.
My chest felt like it was collapsing, and I realized I was on the floor though I wasn’t sure how I got there. Mayra’s voice was ringing through my ears, but I couldn’t decipher her words. My own voice chimed into the mix, but I wasn’t sure what I was saying either.
Everything grew blurry and then went dark.
The next thing I heard was a list of numbers.
“One, two, four, eight, sixteen…”
My back and shoulders were achy.
“Thirty-two, sixty-four…”
My stomach turned on me. There was a nasty taste in my mouth, and I wondered if I had thrown up.
“One twenty-eight, two…um…two fifty-four…”
“Two fifty-six,” I corrected. “Five hundred twelve, one thousand twenty-four, two thousand forty-eight.”
“There ya go…come back to me, dude.” Travis’s voice was soft but still penetrating. “Everything’s okay. You’re home; I’m here; Mayra’s even here. Count with me, dude.”
I took a deep breath and continued reciting numbers. When I opened my eyes, Travis was crouched down on the floor next to me, and Mayra was standing behind him. Her eyes were red, and she was squeezing her hands together.
“Fuck,” I whispered.
Travis laughed quietly.
“There ya go,” he said again. “It’s all good.”
“Do you want this?” I heard Mayra ask.
I glanced up to see her handing Travis a glass of water. He handed it to me, and I took a sip and gave it back to him. It was kind of hard to swallow, and I wondered why my throat was so sore.
Shit, shit, shit.
There was really only one reason—I must have been screaming.
Shit, shit, shit.
I must have had a full-fledged panic attack with Mayra here.
Closing my eyes again, I put my hands over my face, which was already feeling warm to my touch. I was pretty sure I had never been more embarrassed in my life. Mayra had obviously called Travis, who then had to drive over here and pull me out of it. I wondered how much time had passed.
Glancing through my fingers at the digital numbers on the cable box, I saw that it was already after seven o’clock. The last Big Bang episode had just started before the phone rang, which meant it had been at least twenty minutes.