Rocco goes completely still and quiet. I fight the urge to say something to snap him out of it because I have a feeling that he needs to process this scenario on his own. He takes his time, and my patience wears thin, but I manage to constrain myself. After what feels like a very long time, he looks up at me and smiles.
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
Chapter 11—Rocco
My heart is beating almost as fast as it was when Casey was on top of me. I wait for the accompanying anxiety, but it doesn’t come. It takes me a minute to realize I’m excited at the prospect of Casey’s help.
Declaring a major has been impossible for me, and I hadn’t managed to come up with any viable way to get it done. Casey’s willingness to help me with something so difficult surprised me, and I’m still trying to figure it out.
“Is this part of what being someone’s sub means?” I ask.
“What?”
“Helping me do...stuff that’s hard, like declaring a major.”
“I’m here to help you with whatever you need, Roc.”
I swallow hard, knowing I’m not getting my point across. Cree has offered to help me with the exact same task, and I’d always refused. I like the idea of Casey helping me though—I can even picture it in my mind. I can see us clearly as we walk up to the dean’s office, hand-in-hand and smiling at each other. When Cree had tried to help, I always felt as if I was making him go out of his way, and guilt would creep in. I also never considered myself submissive to Cree, at least not in the way I feel t
oward Casey.
How do I feel?
I’m not entirely sure, and even if I could put it into words, I don’t think they would adequately express the feelings. Maybe I don’t know the right words even though I’ve spent a lot of time improving my vocabulary—on the inside, at least. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe the word I need is a lot more common.
“So, does all this mean I’m your boyfriend now?”
“Not into such labels.” Casey shakes her head, and my heart sinks. “Let’s just be us they way we are, okay?”
“Oh.” I tuck my head into her cleavage, trying to hide my disappointment. I had been picturing walking into the dean’s office to declare a major with Casey by my side. The dean would certainly ask who she was and what she was doing there, and I thought I’d say she was my girlfriend. I couldn’t really say she was my Domme, could I?
What would I say instead? Absolutely nothing comes to mind, and I tense up.
“Rocco, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You are a lousy liar.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.” Casey chuckles. “It’s not a bad thing, really. It also means I know when you’re being truthful.”
“I didn’t mean to...to lie. I was just wondering what to tell the dean.”
“About?”
“Who you are and why you’re helping me.”
“Just say I’m your friend.”
“Oh...right.” It doesn’t feel right. Casey is a lot more than a friend to me. She’s also more than a Domme. I’m in such unfamiliar territory, and I want to figure out just how she fits in. “Girlfriend” made sense to me, but it’s clear that’s not what she wants.
“Don’t worry about it,” Casey says simply. “Other people don’t need to know our business, and giving it a label doesn’t change what it is.”
“Yeah...I guess.” I go quiet, not sure what else to say. Clearly, Casey isn’t interested in being my girlfriend or having me as a boyfriend. Being her sub is going to have to be enough for me.
“It’s important to you, isn’t it?” Casey says quietly.