“I know you weren’t, boss.”
“Besides, you’ve been seeing someone, right? How is everything with her?”
“Angel?”
“She’s the blonde, right?”
“Yeah. I had to get rid of her.”
“What?” I feel my skin get a little cold, not sure exactly what he means.
“Not like that,” Threes says with an evil smile. “I just mean I dumped her.”
“Oh! Yeah, that’s probably better. Why did you break it off?”
“The sex sucked. She clearly wasn’t into me, and I figured it was a bit too much like that guy with the blowup doll.”
“She wasn’t into it?”
“Let me put it this way,” Threes says as he crosses his arms over his chest. “The last time we hooked up, I was doing her from behind. When I was done, she looked over her shoulder and said, ‘Was that it? I didn’t get through all my lives in Candy Crush.’”
I stare at him, openmouthed, waiting for him to laugh at the joke but not entirely sure if he’s kidding.
“Dude,” I finally say, “that’s brutal.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t take it anymore.” He shrugs, still with no indication of his level of seriousness. “Sorry to see her go, but I think it was over a long time ago.”
“How long you two been together?”
“A little over two months.”
I shake my head as he grins.
“Shall we call it and head to the cemetery?” he asks.
“Yeah, please.”
The visitation line is still out the door, but I really don’t care at this point. I tell the funeral director to get moving and then stand in a dark hallway away from the line, avoiding everyone. Father Brian walks up and down the line, ceremonial robes and sash flowing around him as he informs the remaining people that the visitation is ending, and the burial is a private, family affair.
As the crowd disperses, Nora finds me.
“You didn’t have to walk out like that!” she snaps.
“I did if you wanted me to keep my shit together.”
“Are you at least going to say something over him before they throw him in a hole?”
“Maybe. If I do, you might not like it.”
Nora grasps her upper arms with her hands and looks over toward the casket.
“He was good to me, Nate. You know that, right?”
“I know he was.”
“He never pushed, never demanded. I needed that after everything else. I’m not the easiest person to be with, you know.”
“Oh, I’m well aware.”