I can’t believe I said I love you.
But it’s the truth. And no other words expressed how I felt in the moment.
Desiree crying real tears for my pain. I love her so much it hurts.
And yet she takes away my pain, too. Because just telling her about Mia—sharing that wound—makes it a little easier.
Yeah, it opened it up again, for sure.
But it also eased some of the pressure.
I listen to the sound of the shower running, and just think about Desiree in there. The most amazing, big-hearted woman on the planet.
I don’t deserve her.
Which is why I’m not going to get the girl in this scenario.
She may be falling in love with me, but she doesn’t want to be. I need to listen to what she said.
But nothing’s going to stop me from taking care of her. Making sure she finds her boy and gets her happily ever after even if it’s without me.
I pull on some boxer briefs and an undershirt and check on Gio. I’m relieved to find his fever’s gone. He blinks his eyes open and looks at me. “Hey, fratello.”
“How’re you feeling, Gio?”
“Good. Better. Where’s your little nurse?”
“In the shower.”
Gio nods. “You’re gonna keep her after all this, right?”
The heaviness I’ve been trying to resist descends. “Not gonna happen. And mind your own fucking business.”
“Seriously, Junior? She’s great.” He emphasizes great, like I might’ve missed how fucking amazing she is.
“Yeah, she is. And she wants no part of La nostra. So I gotta let her go.”
Gio stares at me. “Fanculo. You really love this girl, don’t you?”
“Shut up, Gio,” I say, but there’s no venom behind the words. I only feel tired.
Tired and defeated. Because the woman I love is going to walk out of the house within days.
And I may never see her again.
Chapter 13
Desiree
“There’s a man involved. I know there’s a man involved.” My coworker and friend Lucy bumps my hip with hers. I’ve been back at work for two days, still staying Junior’s place at night to check on Gio. And have hot sex.
I took Gio’s IV out, and he’s just in rest and recuperate mode—sitting up, watching television, eating and drinking normally. His recovery looks good.
It feels weird to be back at the hospital—like I was gone for a month instead of just a week. Lucy’s been asking a million questions about my mystery job.
Because, yeah. I’m not ready for this tryst to be over.
“How do you know?” I laugh.
“I can just tell. You have that freshly-laid look. Like you’ve been getting some. And more than just once.”
I grin.
“Seriously, you can tell when a woman starts having a lot of sex. Her skin gets brighter, her mood is lighter. It’s the release of nitric oxide.”
“Oh really?” I give her a doubtful look.
“Look it up. It’s true.”
“Okay, yes, there’s a man involved. But it’s a fling. Nothing permanent or serious,” I say firmly, like I’m willing myself to believe it.
“We’ll see,” Lucy sings as a patient’s buzzer rings and she scurries off.
I smile after her, feeling all warm and glowy when I really shouldn’t. But it’s been fun, coming into work and then going “home” to Junior.
Submitting to his unrestrained sexual demands and receiving everything in return. He insists on dropping me off and picking me up from work.
I should see it as controlling, but instead I feel loved.
Like he can’t stand to be away for even the extra thirty minutes it would take me to drive myself. Or like he’s so protective he doesn’t want me walking in the parking lot alone. He actually voiced the latter to me even though I told him the only jerks waiting in the parking lot belong to him.
“Desiree.” His deep voice cuts through my thoughts as if he’s actually here.
Oh shit, he’s actually here! And I still have four hours left on my shift.
“Junior, what are you doing here?” I glance around, hoping my boss is nowhere near. I do not need to get busted for this, especially after being “out sick” for a full week.
He looks stony serious. It’s the look he used to always wear, but I’d forgotten it in the past few days. “Desiree, get your shit, we need to go.”
I frown. “Junior, I can’t. I’m working. What is it? Is it Gio?” His brother’s been doing so well, I’d be shocked to hear he’s had another relapse.
He shakes his head. “It’s Jasper. I know where he is. Come on, let’s go get him.”
My heart shifts into highest gear. “Oh my God, are you serious? Where?”
“Indiana. Come on, we can make it by five if we leave now.”
“I’ll be right back,” I say, already dashing off to find my boss. I know she’s going to flip out with my absenteeism, but this can’t wait. At least she already knows about my personal problems. I burst into tears telling her and she hugs me. “Go. Personal emergency. I’ll find someone to come in.” She shoos me away. “Bring that baby back home.”