“If you’re worried about breaking the law, don’t be,” Reed says to Alessandra. And it’s impossible to miss his snark. His dismissal of her. “Weed,” he clarifies when she looks at him blankly. “It’s legal in California.”
Dick, I think. What are you—the bully in an after-school special?
“Oh,” Alessandra says meekly. “But only if you’re twenty-one, right? I’m nineteen.”
Reed chuckles, along with Zander and Keane—all of them apparently thinking Alessandra is kidding. But I know her well enough now to know she’s being serious. Every bit as much as she was when she told me the only “meat” she “eats” is fish. I swear, if any of the groupies I’ve met on tour had made that same comment, I’d have known, without a doubt, they were lowkey offering me a blowjob. But when Alessandra said it with wide, innocent eyes, her total lack of awareness of the double entendre was undeniable. Not to mention, adorable.
“You want another bottle of water?” I ask Alessandra, simply because she looks on the verge of freaking out. “Something to eat?”
“Uh, yeah, I could use a water,” she says, her blue eyes bugging out. “I’ll come with you.”
Fuck. Doesn’t Alessandra understand the potential opportunity here? She can’t come with me for water! She needs to stay here and charm Reed! But before I can reply, Reed swoops in and saves the day.
“Why don’t you stay here and chat with me for a minute, Alessandra?” Reed says. “Just for a couple minutes.”
“Uh-oh,” Keane says. “What’d you do to get called to the principal’s office, Ally Cat? You done fucked up, sis. Godspeed.”
“She didn’t fuck up anything,” Reed says soothingly, smiling at Alessandra. “I just want to chat with her for a minute about music. Georgina mentioned you’re studying music at Berklee. I know a lot of people who graduated from there. It’s a great music school.” He looks at Keane, Zander, and me. “Will you boys excuse us for a few minutes?” He returns to Alessandra. “That is, if you’ve got a couple minutes to spare?”
Alessandra looks at me and I nod enthusiastically. This is the best-case scenario, after all. A perfect chance for her to dazzle Reed with her sweet sincerity—hopefully, enough to persuade him to check out her music.
“I’ll come back in a bit,” I say excitedly. “If you’re not here when I get back for some reason, I’ll find you.” With that, I flash Alessandra a reassuring smile and head toward the house with Keane and Zander.
“Cockblockers,” I spit out when we’re out of earshot of Reed and Alessandra.
Zander chuckles. “I figured we interrupted something good.”
“I was just about to finally kiss her when you three dumbasses barged in on us.”
“You were ‘just about’ to ‘finally’ kiss her?” Keane booms. “You haven’t kissed that girl yet?”
I look behind us, even though I know Reed and Alessandra couldn’t possibly hear Keane’s outburst. “No, I’ve been taking it slow. Waiting for the perfect moment. Which, by the way, finally came right before you three fuckers walked up and ruined everything.”
“Oh, no,” Zander says. “You can’t blame us for your total lack of game, Fish Head. That girl has been nonverbally begging you to kiss her all night.”
“Amen,” Keane says. “From all the flirting I’ve seen going on between you two, I would have thought you’d have kissed her lips off by now.”
My stomach clenches. Damn. They’re both right. This whole time, I thought I was being a gentleman. I thought I was waiting for the right moment. But, now, I’m thinking I done fucked up. “She said she’s never had a boyfriend before,” I say defensively. “Not even a casual one. I wanted to take it slow and do it right.”
“You did it so ‘right,’ you did it dead wrong, son,” Keane declares.
I speak on an exhale, “The truth is, she’s so damned pretty and awesome, it’s taken me all night to muster my courage to finally make my move.”
“Your courage?” Keane and Zander yell at the same time, both of them coming to a stop outside a pair of French doors.
I stop with my friends and hang my head in shame. “I know. I’m so bad at this.”
“News flash, Matthew!” Keane booms. He raps on my head, like he’s knocking on a door. “You’re a fucking rock star now, you dumbshit! The days of you needing to ‘muster your courage’ are over! Especially with a woman who’s been sending you obvious green-light signals all night long!”
I grunt in frustration and embarrassment, and then run my hand through my hair. “I don’t feel like a ‘rock star’ with Alessandra. I just feel like me. And the real me—Matthew Fishberger—has zero game!”
“No shit!” they both shout at the same time.
Zander looks at Keane. “I think our Fish Taco has body- and coolness-factor-dysmorphia, Peenie Weenie.”
“It sure seems like it.” Keane looks at me. “Don’t you realize you’re not the same dude you were back in high school? The past couple years, especially, you’ve really come into your own.”