I swallow hard, blinking once, twice. I was so focused on my mission I'd forgotten about the shield she helped me create. The one that blocked out all the noise and sound the last time Damen went away. The one I dismantled the moment he returned. "Oh, um, I kind of got rid of it," I say, cringing as the words spill from my lips, remembering how it took the better part of an afternoon just to put it in place.
She smiles, gazing at me from over the top of her cup. "I'm not surprised. Being normal's not all it's cracked up to be, once you've experienced something more. " I break off a piece of oatmeal cookie and shrug. Knowing that if it were up to me, I'd choose normal! over this any day.
"So, if this isn't about the shield—then what is it?"
"You mean you don't know? What kind of psychic are you?" I laugh, far too loud for such a dumb, feeble joke.
But Ava just shrugs, tracing a heavily ringed finger along the rim of her cup as she says, "Well, I'm no advanced mind reader like you. Though I do sense something rather serious in the works."
"It's about Damen," I start, pausing to press down on my lips. "He's—he's changed. He's become cold, distant, cruel even, and I—" I drop my gaze, the truth behind the words making them so much harder to say. "He won't return my calls, won't talk to me at school, he even moved his seat in English, and now he—he's dating this girl who—well, she's just awful. I mean,really, truly awful. And now he's awful too—"
"Ever—" she starts, her voice warm and gentle, her eyes kind.
"It's not what you think," I tell her. "It's not that at all. Damen and I didn't break up, we weren't having problems, it was nothing like that. It's like, one day everything was great—and the next—not. "
"And did something happen to precipitate this change?" Her face is thoughtful, her eyes on mine. Yeah, Roman happened. But since I can't explain my suspicions, that he's an immortal rogue (despite all evidence to the contrary), employing some sort of mass mind control or hypnosis or spell casting (which I'm not even sure is possible) over the entire Bay View student body, I just tell her about Damen's recent bout of odd behavior—the headaches, the sweating, and a few other safe-to-talk-about nonsecret things. Then I sit there, holding my breath as she sips her tea and looks out the window at the beautiful garden beyond, her gaze returning to me when she says, "Tell me everything you know about Summerland." I stare at the two halves of my uneaten cookie and clamp my lips shut, never having heard the word mentioned so openly and casually like that. I'd always thought of it as Damen's and my sacred space, never realizing that mere mortals might know of it too. "Certainly you've visited?" She sets down her cup andraises her brow. "During your near-death experience perhaps?"
I nod, remembering both of my visits, the first time when I was dead, the second with Damen. And I was so taken with that magical, mystical dimension with its vast fragrant fields and pulsating trees—I was reluctant to leave.
"And did you visit its temples while you were there?" Temples? I didn't see any temples. Elephants, beaches, and horses—things we both manifested, but certainly no buildings or dwellings of any kind.
"Summerland is legendary for its temples, or Great Halls of Learning as they're called. I'm thinking your answer lies there."
"But—but I'm not even sure how to get there without Damen. I mean, short of dying and all..." I look at her.
"How do you even know about it? Have you been there?"
She shakes her head. 'I've been trying to access it for years. And though I've come close a few times, I've never been able to get through the portal. But maybe if we merge our energy together, pool our resources so to speak, we just might get through.'"
"It's impossible," I say, remembering the last time I tried to access it that way. And even though Damen was already showing signs of distress, he's still way more advanced than Ava on her very best day. "It's not that easy. Even if we do pool our energy, it's still a lot more difficult than you think." But she just shakes her head and smiles, rising from her seat as she says, "But we'll never know until we try, right?"
Chapter Twenty-Three
I follow her down a short hallway. My flip-flops snapping against a red woven rug as I think: This'll never work. I mean, if I couldn't access the portal with Damen, how can I possibly access it with Ava? Because even though she seems to be a pretty gifted psychic, her skills are mostly saved for the party circuit, telling fortunes over a fold-up card table, embellishing them in hopes of a generous tip.
"It'll never work if you don't believe," she says, pausing before an indigo door. "You need to have faith in the process. And so, before we enter, I need you to clear your mind of all negativity. I need you to rid yourself of any sad or unhappy thoughts, or anything else that's dragging you down and serves the word can't "
I take a deep breath and stare at the door, fighting the urge to roll my eyes as I think: Great. I should've known.This is just the sort of hokey stuff you're forced to tolerate when you're dealing with Ava. But all I say is, "Don't worry about me, I'm good."
Nodding in a way I hope is convincing, wanting to avoid her usual twenty-step meditation, or whatever woowoo practice she might have in mind. But Ava just stands there, hands on hips, eyes on mine. Refusing to let me in until I agree to lighten my emotional load. So when she says, "Close your eyes," I do. But only to speed things along. "Now I want you to imagine long spindly roots sprouting from the soles of your feet and delving deep into the earth, carving into the soil and stretching their limits. Digging deeper and deeper into the ground until they've reached the earth's core and can't go any farther. Got it?"
I nod, picturing what she asks, but only so we can get this show on the road and not because I believe in it.
"Now take a deep breath, take several deep breaths, and let your whole body relax. Feel your muscles loosening, while your tension fades away. Allowing any lingering negative thoughts or emotions to disappear. Just banish them from your energy field and tell them good riddance. Can you do that?"
Um, whatever, I think. Just going through the motions and feeling pretty surprised when my muscles really do start to relax. And I mean, really relax. Like I'm at peace after a long hard battle. I guess I wasn't aware of just how tense I've been or how much negativity I was lugging around until Ava made me release it. And even though I'm willing to do just about anything to get into that room and closer to Summerland, I have to admit that some of this mumbo-jumbo stuff might really work.
; "Now draw your attention up until you're focused on the crown of your head, the area right at the top. And imagine a solid beam of the purest golden white light penetrating that very spot and easing its way all down your neck, your limbs, your torso, all the way down to your feet. Feel that warm, wonderful light healing every part of you, coating every last cell both inside and out, allowing any lingering sadness or anger to be transformed into loving energy by this powerful healing force. Feel the light surging inside you like a steady beam of lightness, love, and forgiveness with no beginning or end. And when you start to feel lighter, when you start to feel yourself purified and cleansed, open your eyes and look at me, but only when you're ready."
So I do, I go through the whole white light ritual, determined to participate and at least pretend to take these steps seriously since it's important to Ava. And just as I imagine a golden beam coursing through my body, coating my cells and all that, I also try to calculate just how long I should delay opening my eyes so it won't look too fake.
But then, something odd happens. I find myself feeling lighter, happier, stronger, and despite the desperate state I arrived in—fulfilled. And when I do open my eyes, I see that she's smiling at me, her entire body surrounded by the most beautiful violet aura I've ever seen.
She opens the door and I follow her inside, blinking and squinting as I adjust to the deep purple walls of this small spare room that, from the looks of it, seems to double as a shrine.
"Is this where you give your readings?" I ask, taking in the large collection of crystals and candles and iconic symbols that cover the walls. Watching as she shakes her head and settles onto an elaborate embroidered floor cushion, patting the one right beside her and motioning for me to sit too.