My whispered gasp, echoing through the room but heard only by me, as I flee out the door and back to the earth plane.
Eager to get away from the face looming before me—away from a past that has just, remarkably, come full circle again.
nineteen
I don’t even think about it. Don’t even stop to think twice. I just make the portal, land back in the earth plane, and head for Damen’s.
But then, just as I’m pulling up to his gate, I think better.
The twins will be there.
The twins are always there.
And this is definitely something that shouldn’t be discussed in their presence.
But since the gates are already in motion and Sheila is happily waving me in, I drive right through and head for the park instead. Parking my car at the curb and heading straight for the swings, I settle onto the small bucket seat and propel myself forward with such force, I actually wonder if I’ll loop all the way around before coming back down. But I don’t, I just sway back and forth, enjoying the rush of wind on my cheeks as I fly ever higher, and the slight dip in my belly when I come crashing back down. Closing my eyes and calling Damen to me—using whatever powers I still have before the monster can awaken and begin its favorite pastime of sabotaging me. Adding up the seconds, and not even getting to ten before he’s standing before me.
The air has changed, ignited by his presence, his gaze sending a delicious warm tingle over my skin. And when I open my eyes to meet his—it’s like the first time we met in the parking lot at school—mesmerizing, magical, a moment of complete and total surrender. The sun at his back, enveloping him in a blaze of bold orange, golds, and reds so brilliant, it’s as though they’re emanating from him. And I hold on to the moment, hold it for as long as I can. All too aware that it’s just a matter of time before it dulls and I become numb to him again.
He takes the swing alongside me, gliding high into the sky and instantly matching my pace. The two of us swooping to such deliriously, wonderful heights, only to plummet right back down again—an analogy of our relationship for the last four hundred years.
But when he gazes at me with an expectant look on his face, I know I’m about to disappoint him. I’m not here for the reason he thinks.
I take a deep breath, speaking past the lump in my throat when I say, “Listen.” I turn toward him. “I know things are kind of—strained—” I pause, knowing that hardly describes it but continuing anyway. “But, well, after you left, I came across something so extraordinary, I rushed here to tell you. And if we can just push all this other stuff aside, at least for now, I think you’re gonna want to hear this.”
He cocks his head and drinks me in, his gaze so deep, dark, and intense it halts the words right in my throat.
Forcing me to gaze down at the ground, marking a series of small circles into the dirt with my toe, pushing the words from my lips when I say, “I know this’ll probably sound crazy, so crazy you probably won’t even believe it at first—but I’m telling you—no matter how far-fetched it may seem, it’s totally and completely real, I saw it for myself.” I pause, sneaking a peek and seeing him nod in that encouraging yet patient way that he has. Then I clear my throat and start again, wondering why I’m so nervous when he’s probably the only person I know who would truly understand. “So, you know how you always say the eyes are the window to the soul and the mirror to the past and all that? And how you can recognize someone from your past lives simply by looking into their eyes?”
He nods, unhurried, noncommittal, as though he’s got all the time in the world to see where this leads.
“Anyway, my point is—” I take a deep breath, hoping he won’t think I’m any crazier than he already does when I blurt, “Ava-is-Romy-and-Rayne’s-aunt!” The words rushing out of me so quickly it sounds like one very long word, as he just continues to sit there, looking as cool and calm as can be.
“Remember when I told you how I had that vision where I watched their life unfold and I saw their aunt? Well, as crazy as it sounds, that aunt is now Ava. She died during the Salem Witch Trials and came back in this life as Ava.” I shrug, not really sure how you follow up a statement like that.
His lips curve ever so slightly as his gaze lightens, pushing his swing slowly back and forth when he says, “I know.”
I squint, unsure if I heard him correctly.
He moves, veering so close our knees nearly touch, looking at me when he says, “Ava told me.”
I jump out of my swing so hard and fast the chains slam together and spin in on themselves—winding all the way up before dropping back down, circling around and around in a fury of movement that makes a horrible, dull, clanking sound. My knees wobbly, unsteady, as I narrow my gaze and slowly take him in—wondering how this guy who claims to love me for all of my lives could possibly befriend her, endanger the twins, and betray me like that.
But he just looks at me without the slightest trace of concern. “Ever, please.” He shakes his head. “It’s not what you think.”
I press my lips together and avert my gaze, wondering where I’ve heard that before. Oh right, Ava. It’s pretty much her favorite, most oft-repeated phrase and I can’t believe he fell for it.
“She saw it on a visit to the akashic records. And today, when I was unable to find a way to help you, I confirmed it. She’s been getting her place ready, trying to find the right time to tell them, and, well, even though I believed her, I wasn’t really sure what would truly be best for them. And so, today, when I asked for a little guidance, what the best course for them would be, the story was revealed. In fact, they’re with her right now.”
“So, that’s it then.” I look at him. “Ava’s no longer evil, she’s reunited with the twins, and we get our lives back.” I try to laugh, but it doesn’t come out quite the way I intended.
“Do we? Get our lives back?” He cocks his head to the side and looks at me.
I sigh, knowing I’ve no choice but to try to explain it, it’s the least I can do.
I drop onto my swing, fingers twisting and looping around the thick metal chains as I look at him and say, “Today—in Summerland—despite how it looked, it wasn’t at all what it seemed. And I was going to explain it—explain everything that’s been happening—but when you disappeared so fast I—” I press my lips together and look away.
“So, why not explain it now?” Damen says, eyeing me closely. “I’m right here. You have my full attention.” His voice so stiff and formal, my entire heart breaks. Just crumbles into a million jagged pieces as he sits there beside me, so handsome, so strong, so well-intentioned—wanting only to do the right thing, no matter what it costs him.