“Let go of my leg and take hold of my hands instead,” I say, my voice calm, determined. “Trust me, you have nothing to lose, I promise you that.”
He hesitates, but only for a moment before he does as I ask. The two of us sitting cross-legged on the bed, my bare knees pressed against his, his hands gripping mine, the whole scene reminding me vaguely of the binding spell that started this mess.
Only this is nothing like that.
Nothing at all.
I’m about to take a huge leap of faith. I’m about to share something with Roman that’ll definitely result in his handing over the antidote. Looking him straight in the eyes when I say, “Your argument is flawed.”
He squints.
“Your argument. About there being nothing but the here and now. If you truly believed that, then why were you trying to connect with Drina? If you truly believe that there’s nothing beyond this, the earth plane, where we sit now, then exactly what is it you were trying to connect with?”
He looks at me, obviously flummoxed when he says, “Her essence—her—” He shakes his head, tries to let go of my hands, but I just grip his tighter. “What the hell is this?” he asks, clearly unhappy with me.
“It doesn’t end here, Roman. There’s more, lots more. More than you could ever imagine. This, what you see here—this is all just a tiny little blip on a much bigger screen. But I have a feeling that despite what you say, you already sense that. And because you already sense that, you’re open to it. And so, with that in mind, I’m wondering if we can maybe broker some kind of deal.”
“I knew it!” He laughs and shakes his head. “I knew you hadn’t given up. Never say die, Ever, right?”
But I just ignore it, forging ahead when I say, “If I take you to Drina, if I show you where she rests, will you give me the antidote?”
He drops my hands, his face blanched, shocked, clearly struggling to steady himself. “You putting one over on me?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not. I’m really not. I swear.”
“Then why are you doing this?”
“Because it only seems fair. You give me what I want most, and I’ll give you what you want most. You may not like what you see, you’ll probably even end up hating me—but I’m willing to take that chance. And I promise you, I’ll give you the whole, unobstructed view. I’ll hold nothing back.”
“And—what if you give me what I want and I still don’t give you the antidote? What then?”
“Then I misjudged you.” I shrug. “Then I walk away with nothing. But I won’t hate you, and I won’t bother you again. But I think you’ll definitely believe in karma once you experience the effects of an action like that. So—you ready?”
He looks at me, looks at me for a long moment, weighing, considering, until he finally nods, his gaze holding steady on mine when he says, “Wanna know where I keep it?”
I swallow hard. My breath quickening.
“It’s right here.” He reaches over to his nightstand, opens a drawer, pulls out a small, jewel-encrusted, velvet-lined box and retrieves a slim glass vial filled with an opalescent liquid that looks an awful lot like elixir—except that it’s green.
And I watch as he waves it before me, seeing it sparkle and shine, hardly able to believe that the answer to all of my troubles is so small and contained.
“I thought you said you didn’t keep it here,” I say, my mouth gone suddenly dry as I take it in—seeing it shimmering before me.
“I didn’t. Not ’til after the other night. Before that, I kept it at the store. But this is it, luv—a single serving with no recipe card on file—the full list of ingredients exists only in here.” He taps the side of his head and eyes me carefully. “So, we have a deal, right? You show me yours—and I’ll give you mine.” He smiles, slipping the antidote into his shirt pocket and gazing at me when he says, “But you first. You hold up your end of the deal. Take me to her—and the happily ever after is yours.”
thirty-four
“Close your eyes,” I whisper, grasping Roman’s cold hands in mine, our knees pressed tightly together, our faces so close I can feel the chill of his breath on my cheek. “And now open your mind. Ridding it as best you can of all extraneous thoughts. Just empty it out—let it go blank—drop everything and just—be. Got it?”
He nods, squeezing my fingers even tighter. So focused on this, wanting so badly to see where Drina now lives, it’s heartbreaking.
“Now, I want you to enter my mind. I’m going to lower my shield and allow you in, and—I’m warning you, Roman—you may not like what you see, you may become extremely angry with me, but I want you to remember I’m holding up my end of the deal, okay? I never said you’d like it, I only said I’d take you to where she is.
” I open one eye to see him nod once again, “Okay, so now—come in—slowly find your way in and—you with me?”
“Yes,” he whispers. “Yes—it’s so—dark—so—I can’t see a thing—and I’m falling—so fast—so—where—?”
“It’ll end soon—just hang in there,” I coax.