“Everyone knows,” she said with an angry twist of her lips. “Your dad was watching you and Luca from the door, and when it became apparent you weren’t happy, he asked what was going on. Aunt Layla started crying, and it all came out. Uncle Shane exploded, and things got crazy. If Barrick and Harris hadn’t been here, I’m pretty sure he would have started throwing punches.”
“O-oh,” I whispered.
She crossed to the door and tried to close it. But it was heavy and hanging at a weird angle. After a few moments, she cursed and kicked the damn thing. “How the hell did he break this thing down? I know he’s strong, but damn.”
“Sh-Shaw.” I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to catch my breath. “I… I really need you…to go.”
Turning, her eyes widened when they fell on me. “Vi?” Suddenly she was in front of me, cupping my face. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. Take a few deep breaths.”
“Go,” I panted. “Please.”
“No,” she refused. “I’m not leaving you. Especially when you’re like this. You’re… I don’t know. This is a panic attack, I think.” She wrapped her arms around me, but it only made it worse.
I couldn’t handle being comforted at the moment. I wanted to feel the pain. I needed it so I wouldn’t forget and ever let another person hurt me again. It wasn’t going to be okay—I wasn’t okay. The pain was starting to consume me. Every part of my body hurt, and it was making it hard to breathe, to think, to feel anything other than the pain and the hate that were infecting the spot where my heart used to be.
Pushing her away, I ran into my bathroom and locked the door behind me. Pressing my back to it, I slowly slid to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. Moments later, she knocked on the door. “Vi, please let me in. I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to face this alone. You don’t have to be the strong one this time.”
I lost control of my tears, and they began to flow silently down my face. I didn’t want her or anyone else to see me crying. All I wanted was to feel this pain and let go, alone. I didn’t want a witness to my agony, not even my best friend.
After a few minutes, Shaw gave up on trying to get me to open the door, and I was finally able to release the sob that was choking me. The tears came faster, and my head began to pound until I couldn’t even think…
A cold hand touched my arm, making me yell out in fright. Lifting my head, I gaped at Shaw. Through my tears, I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. She was actually standing there, her hair windblown and her cheeks pink as she breathed heavily. The small window in my bathroom was open just enough that she must have climbed through it.
“Your dad needs to replace a few shingles now,” she said as she pushed her hair out of her face and sat down on the chilly tiled floor beside me.
“You’re crazy,” I mumbled through my tears.
“Yeah, yeah.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled on me until my head was lying in her lap. “Now, you pain in the ass, you go ahead and cry all you want. I’m not going to judge you or tell you it’s going to be okay. Maybe it will be one day. Maybe it won’t. And that’s okay. Because I’m not going to leave you. I’ll be right here beside you for however long you need me.” I started to speak, but she pressed the palm of her hand over my mouth. “Just shut up, Vi. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. The rest of us won’t break if you cry in front of us. It’s fucking okay not to be okay!”
Maybe she was right, but I was too exhausted to care anymore. Rolling over, I pressed my face into her stomach and just let go. And she sat there, not telling me it was going to be okay, not saying much of anything except that she was there and she loved me as she combed her fingers lovingly through my hair.
Time passed, and I must have cried myself to sleep, because the next thing I knew, Dad was knocking on the bathroom door. “Girls? Are you two okay in there?”
Shaw yawned and stretched her arms, then looked down at me with a grim smile. “We’re good,” she called out. “Um, just an FYI, you might need to get someone to check your roof.”
“What?” he exclaimed.
“It’s a long story. One I’m not sure I have time to tell right now.” She started stroking her fingertips over my forehead, and I felt my eyes growing heavy again. “Just know that Violet is okay.”
I heard him sigh heavily. “That’s all that matters.” There was a pause, then, “I’ll save you girls some dessert.”
I drifted off to sleep again and woke up sometime later to someone lifting me off the floor. I lifted my lashes and saw Jagger was carrying me from the bathroom. Shaw pulled my comforter down, and he laid my head on my pillows before she tucked me in.
But I’d liked her taking care of me a little too much, and I reached for her. “Please don’t go,” I whispered brokenly.
She brushed her lips over my forehead. “I told you, Vi. I’m not going anywhere.” Taking off her jeans, she climbed in beside me, and I wrapped myself around her. “Turn off the light when you go,” she told Jagger.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he told her as he started for the door.
“You do that,” she muttered. “Doesn’t mean I’ll answer.”
I heard the pain in her voice and tightened my hold on her. While I’d been numb following my breakup with Luca, I must have missed something. Fresh tears burned my eyes. “Shaw?”
“Shh,” she said, kissing my brow. “We’ll talk tomorrow
. For now, just go back to sleep.”
“But…”