“I won’t let go unless you tell me to. I promise.”
She let out a breath. “Okie-dokie.” She grabbed her locket. “I should take this off.”
Caleb turned her around and undid the clasp then set it carefully on top of one of the pool chairs. Then he took her hand and led her to the side of the pool. Damn it. What was she doing? Could she do this?
Deep breath in. Slowly out. She used the techniques the therapist had given her to keep herself calm. She thought about relaxing the muscles in each area of her body one by one until they were at the steps of the pool.
Caleb took a step in, then another. She stood there, staring down.
“Jelly bean, just one step. That’s all. One step.”
She could do it. One step. It was ridiculous, she got more of herself into the bath. She could do one step.
She took a step. Let the water slide over her foot. There, that wasn’t so bad. She raised her gaze up to Caleb’s calm face. He looked so confident. So sure that she could do this.
“You won’t let anything happen to me?”
“Never,” he promised. “I’m right here. I’d never let anything happen to you.”
She nodded. And took another step. A big smile broke out on his face. He held out his other hand to her and she took hold.
Three steps. You can do it.
Another step. The water was to her knees by now. It felt nice and cool in the hot, humid climate.
Step four. She was shaking slightly. But she was also feeling empowered.
“My brave, brave girl. Want to do one more or do you want to try sitting?”
Sitting? Could she do that?
“Sit with me?” she asked.
“Always. I’ll always be next to you.”
Slowly, she sat down. She felt the panic start to engulf her. She couldn’t do this. It was too much. All she could see was her mom lying in the water. She clutched Piggles tight, gasping for her air.
“Breathe, baby. Just breathe. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. Never again.”
Suddenly, she was in Caleb’s lap. Only her feet were in the water.
“It’s all right, jelly bean. You’re all right. Daddy’s here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Sorry,” she said when she thought the panic attack was under control.
“Hey, no saying sorry.” He cupped the side of her face with his hand. “It’s just one step at a time. I’ll be here beside you for every step. Doesn’t matter how slowly you move, as long as you move forward. That’s all you can do. Just keep moving forward.”
32
A dark blanket felt like it was smothering her.
It had started about an hour earlier. Caleb had done a good job of keeping her busy. From their swimming lesson to him bathing her complete with bath toys and bubbles.
He favored rose-scented bath bubbles. Now she was sitting on the floor in the living room as Wolfe brushed out her hair. They were on countdown to when the funeral would begin.
And her nerves were growing. She hadn’t been able to eat any dinner, which Wolfe was still grumbling about.
“You’re having a protein drink before bed,” he told her. “You barely drank any of that last one.”