“But that’s not a healthy way to live,” Max told her. “Believe me, I know.”
“Was it like this for you? When you were transitioning into civilian life?” She knew he’d struggled to adjust after he’d left the armed forces. That he’d suffered from PTSD. He’d warned her that first night they’d slept together that sometimes he had nightmares. Then he’d asked her if she’d rather he slept in a different bed and she could sleep with just Logan.
She’d told him he wasn’t getting out of after-sex cuddles that easily. No cuddles. No sex.
But beyond that, she didn’t know much about what he’d been through. He’d had a few nightmares over the time they’d been together. But he’d never become violent. Afterwards, he’d tried to retreat, but she’d clung to him like a leech and wouldn’t let go until he relaxed and laid back in the bed with them.
“You know I have nightmares, but they’re nothing like what they were in the beginning. Sometimes I’d wake up, and my room would be trashed, and I wouldn’t have any memory of having done it. Or I’d wake up with Logan pinning me down, yelling at me that I was safe. That I was home.” Max rubbed his chest. “He weighs a freakin’ ton, too. For a while there I thought he was trying to suffocate me.”
Logan glowered at him.
“Sorry, man, but someone has to say it. I think it’s time for a diet.”
Logan smacked his hand against Max’s stomach. “Speak for yourself. Going a bit soft around there, old man?”
“I’m three minutes older than you, idiot.”
She rolled her eyes at their antics. “But you got better over time. Without a counselor.”
Max looked uncomfortable. “I saw a shrink for a while, but he was worse than no help at all. With a better psychiatrist, I’m sure my transition would have been easier.
“We want to help you, Savannah.”
“I don’t understand why I’m having problems when Laken is so together. She was held for days by that asshole and hurt far worse than I was. Maybe she’s just stronger.”
Max crouched and cupped her face between his warm, wide hands. “Laken has had years to recover from what happened to her, and from what I’ve heard her recovery wasn’t quick or easy.”
“And she saw a therapist,” Logan added.
That’s right, she had. Maybe with some help, Savannah could get her shit together once more.
Max ran a finger down her cheek. “We’re here for you to lean on, to support you, help you. We can get through this if you don’t shut us out.”
“I just didn’t want to be a burden to you guys.”
“A burden?” Logan snapped. “You’re our wife, you could never be a fucking burden.”
“You’re not supposed to do this alone, Savannah,” Max added.
“Do you think the counselor could help?” she asked.
Max scowled. “We’ll find you a good one. I won’t have you going to anyone we haven’t completely vetted.”
“Maybe I should try the one Laken went to. If she’ll do it via Skype.”
“Good.” Logan stood, looking happier now that they had a plan of attack. “I’ll get in touch with Laken and get her number. We’ll get you an appointment tomorrow. Don’t worry, she’ll do Skype.”
His voice promised there would be problems if she didn’t.
“Um, Logan, I don’t think she’s going to be able to take me tomorrow,” she told him.
“Why not?”
“Well, because she has other clients and stuff. She can’t rearrange them just for me.”
“Then we’ll take the next available appointment. I’m gonna call Laken now.” He walked out of the room.
“He needs something to do. He feels helpless. So do I,” Max told her.