“Even if you couldn’t voice it, I’m glad you could at least show me what you needed.”
“I missed this so much, Sir.”
“And that surprised you? Maybe confused you? Or made you wonder if you’re becoming too dependent on me?”
She thought that over for a moment. “All three?”
He nodded. “I’m going to ask you something and I want an honest answer. Are you ashamed of your needs? Or perhaps embarrassed by them?”
She frowned. “What? No, Sir.”
“I want the truth, not what you think I want to hear,” he told her. “I know this is all new to you.”
“Yes, it’s new to me, Sir.” She struggled for the words. Why was it so damn hard to open up? She let out a deep breath. “Sometimes I still feel a little confused by all this. But I’m not ashamed or embarrassed of my needs.”
“Or of our relationship?”
What? She stared up at him in surprise. “I’m not ashamed of our relationship, Sir.”
Why would he say that?
“You have the boys to think of. Do you believe I can be a good father to them, considering who I am?”
“Joel, look at me.” Yep, she was breaking protocol, but this was so important. She leaned up, pressing between his legs to grab his face between her hands. “I love you so much.”
The uncertainty that flashed in his eyes was a shock. She was used to him being so in control. That unflagging confidence was a rock to her. But this flash of vulnerability was something he wouldn’t show anyone else. And it meant everything.
“I am in no way ashamed of who you are, what we are together.”
The stiffness in his body eased.
“And you will be an amazing father. I see how much you care for the boys, even though they aren’t yours—”
“They will be,” he interrupted her. “I’m not just marrying you. They will be a part of this family in all ways. As soon as it can be arranged, I’m going to adopt them.”
“I can think of nothing I want more. I’ll still talk to them about their biological father—”
“Certainly,” he said. “That’s part of who they are. They deserve to know that. Just as they deserve to know that I love them like they were my own. That they are mine.”
“You know, for someone who hates being interrupted, you sure like to do it a lot,” she joked.
He attempted a smile. “Dom’s prerogative.”
She snorted then grew serious. “You really want to adopt them?”
He brushed her hair off her face. “The only thing I want more is to marry you. To have you here always. In my bed. In my life. Bound. Fucked. Loved.”
“Please don’t tell me those are going to be your wedding vows.”
This time his smile wasn’t forced. “And would you complain if they were?”
“Yes! You are not saying that you want me bound and fucked, Joel Saxon!”
“Hmm, I can see that since I’ve been gone you’ve forgotten who’s in charge here,” he said in a low voice.
She slid back, sitting on her heels, her spine straight, gaze down, hands on her thighs. “Not at all, Sir.”
“Very nice.”