He looked at her from beneath lowered brows. The stern look sent shivers racing across her skin.
“I’m not going to bed while you remain awake, taking care of them on your own. Stop arguing and do as you’re told. Take Jamie to bed. He needs his sleep.”
She bit her lip, but turned to walk into the bedroom. Arguing didn’t seem to get her anywhere, and Saxon was right, Jamie should be asleep.
She laid him in his crib, tucking him in tightly and then turned on the mobile attached to the frame. He fussed for a minute or so, but his eyes gradually closed and his breathing deepened. She smiled down at him, just watching for a few seconds and taking advantage of the quiet to collect herself.
She forced herself to leave the bedroom and walk back to the living area. She came to a stop in the doorway, her heart nearly bursting at the sight of Saxon walking back and forth across the room with Caleb tucked into his chest, his thumb in his mouth, his eyes finally closed. Every so often the boy let out a happy little sigh. Not that she blamed him. She wouldn’t mind being tucked up against that chest.
Finally, she roused herself even though she thought she could just stand and watch the two of them all night. “Here, let me take him from you,” she said quietly as she moved towards them, her arms outstretched.
“You will not,” he said firmly, surprising her.
She came to a stop, frowning. Okay, she got that he was used to being in charge. And he’d helped her out more than she could ever repay. But the boys were her responsibility.
“Saxon, thank you for your help. But I’ll take it from here.”
He narrowed his gaze. “You know, I thought your use of my last name was a habit that needed time to be broken. Now I think you use it to create distance between us. It’s an interesting tell. You don’t want my help with your children?”
She breathed out a sigh. Tread carefully.
“It’s not that.”
“No? You don’t trust me to take care of them?”
She bit her lip. No, that wasn’t it either.
“They’re not your responsibility.”
He stilled and Caleb let out a murmur of protest. She winced. Crap.
“You are my responsibility. They belong to you; therefore, they are mine to take care of as well.”
She shook her head. “I can’t let you do that.”
“Why? Because of who I am? You think just because I’m a Dominant I can’t care for children? Do you believe my depraved ways will infect them?”
Her eyes widened and she gasped. “What? No. Definitely not. You’re wonderful with them.”
The tension in his body eased somewhat. Caleb rubbed his face against him as though to soothe him.
“Joel, I didn’t mean anything like that.” She reached out and touched his sleeve. “You’ve been great with the boys. And with me.”
“Then what is it?”
“I find it hard to let people help me, I guess.”
“Trust issues.”
She shrugged. “I’ve learned to rely only on myself and I don’t want them to get hurt.”
She stared up at him, willing him to understand. “I’m their mother. Their protector. I need to look out for them.”
He reached out to cup her chin in his hand. “You’re a wonderful mother.”
She blushed slightly. “I don’t know about that.”
“I do. Because you put them first. Which is how it should be. But everyone needs help, Aspen. And you have a lot of people who would come to your aid if you would just reach out to them.”