“You’re not? Huh, he really did make a mess of things this morning.”
“What?” she asked.
“Jardin and I used to be best friends,” he continued on as though she hadn’t spoken. “We shared a partner, Sally. I thought she wanted us both. Also thought that sharing her was the only way I could be close to Jardin.”
“You mean the two of you weren’t—” she broke off with a blush. “Sorry, that’s none of my business.”
“You can ask as many questions as you like, rocket. I brought this up. Nothing’s off-limits to you.”
Was he serious? Why would he want to talk to her about it? She was nothing to either of them. It was so confusing.
“We weren’t together like that back then. I came out as bisexual years ago. I would have told you that, had our relationship gone beyond one date.”
Shame flooded her.
“Does that worry you?” he asked, his face shutting down.
She frowned slightly. “Should it?”
He shrugged. “Lots of people don’t get it. I’ve had partners who were intimidated by it for some reason. Had a fallout with my family over it. They wanted me to pick a side.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah and they wanted me to pick the female side. I refused. Haven’t spoken to them in close to eighteen years.”
That was so sad.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Truth is, rocket, I’m better off without them. I met Jardin about seven years later. I was attracted to him, but he was my closest friend and he wasn’t bi or gay. Or at least I didn’t think he was. We were best friends for years before we met Sally, and she got involved with both of us. I thought she wanted both of us. Turns out, s
he just wanted to be the next Mrs. Jardin Malone. In the beginning I think she got off on having two dicks to lead around. Course, nobody leads Jardin around. He’s a workaholic, and I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how, uh, abrupt and arrogant he can be.”
She actually smiled at that description.
“Sally wasn’t enamored of the fact he wasn’t willing to kiss the ground she walked on, so she tried to get me to be her little slave. I wasn’t going for that either. Things started to unravel for the three of us. I knew she didn’t want me. I felt like a third wheel. I never told Jardin though and that’s on me. Thought I’d lose him to her. Turns out, he was starting to see her true colors. The drinking. The bitching. The way she treated me. He confronted her, told her it was over. That night she drank too much and drowned.”
“Oh, God.”
“I was at home. I should have been watching her. I had the music up loud. I was avoiding her. Was just sitting there while she drowned.”
“Oh, Carrick, you couldn’t have known.” She got up and walked around to his chair, kneeling on the floor in front of him. She reached up and took his hand in hers. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
“I blamed him, though,” a deep voice said from the doorway. She started, her eyes rising to Jardin, who had his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the frame. His gaze was intense as he looked down at her. “I was an idiot and lashed out, said things I didn’t mean. And I lost him for two years.”
“And now you’ve found each other again.” That was so romantic.
“Finally got the chance to tell Carrick how I feel about him. How I’ve always felt about him.”
“You left it so long . . .” she trailed off, hoping Jardin didn’t see that as a criticism.
“I was an idiot. When I tracked him down, I saw him with someone and thought he was happy.”
“Short story is, I wasn’t happy,” Carrick told her. “And now I know that Jardin has the same feelings for me as I do for him.”
The way they stared at each other made her heart hurt. She wished she had that. Desperately.
“So now you have a happy ever after.”